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New Years Reolutions

No, you idiots, they don't include a "comments" section.

"What? You broke number 3 already?"

'Look, I never said salvation would be PRETTY!'

'No, smart guy -- it means all of them at once!'

'We're going to start this week's sermon with a review of the basics....'

The latest craze in party games: needlepoint charades.

'These sure rule out a lot of options....'

''No other gods before me'? Oh - You're one of THOSE types.'

'Danae's spent all this week writing new amendments, which I can only assume means she doesn't know what it'll take to get them into the constitution...so I sent her a link on the process...'

'On the other hand, you must never, ever work in mysterious ways.'

'What about three-day Sabbaths?'

'Does it come on Disc?'

"No, it's not a to-do lost."

"My fees are quite high, and yet you say you have little money. I think I'm seeing a conflict of interest here."

'Do you realize it takes over 2000 laws to enforce the ten commandments?'

'These people have terrible attention spans - I'll just bring them ten commandments at a time.'

Moog invented the blog.

'Just think of me as your life coach.'

'We're going to start this week's sermon with a review of the basics....'

"Go forth and multiply under the constraint of sustainability within Nature's framework? What the heck is THAT supposed to mean?"

'How about bearing false witness for you neighbor?'

MAKE ME PROUD OF YOU!, 'We may want to include more specific instructions.'

"All too human is fine- unless, of course, it's all too often."

These tablets are heavy. Didn't you create the internet on the fifth night? Couldn't you just post these commandments on your blog?

'And don´t return until you find the shameless who took the tablet with the seventh commandment'

Moses with the Ten Commandments on a Ski Lift

'Okay, now...while holding down the commandment key, type in the number ten.'

'No, I'm not going to go back to ask for a little more wiggle room.'

'Is there any way we could ease into these GRADUALLY?'

'You realize, it may take us awhile to INTERNALIZE these....'

'He's not too swift with the rest of the commandments, but he does rest on Sundays.'

"Behold, the ten commandments of highly successful people!"

'How long do we have to get in compliance?'

'You mean I have to MENTOR, too?'