Commitment Critics Gifts

"I'd like to alter my vows...I want to say 'Til death, or a better prospect comes along, do we part."

'You'll love me no matter what? Great! I'm going to marry Justin.'

'Do you think it might be possible that what you wear could be a contributing factor to your relationship problems?'

" ... and peace be with you, although not likely."

Just married and Just Single and Happy.

'No, but thanks for asking,'

"What I really wanted was a dog, but my landlord won't allow it. So I got married instead."

'I want to finish with him, but I'll have to wait until he's made the final payment on my engagement ring.'

'Is that 'forsaking all others' bit compulsory?'

'Or you can rent by the week...'

"Instead of making a long-term commitment to marriage, I've decided to lease a man."

Hello, Susie, it's R

'Don't try to sweet talk me, Eddie! You had your chance yesterday! We are through!'

"I need to know if you're really serious about our relationship."

She agreed to marry me, but she has to marry three other guys first.

'I'm writing my New Year's resolutions.' - 'I resolve to finish everything that I start.'

Man playing with echos: 'Hellooooo...How are you....I love you...' 'I'm not ready for that kind of committment!'

"And do you, Courtney, take this man....Courtney!"

"I never get a girls name tattooed on a first date."

Preachers with far too much input

'I wonder if you'd go out with me. I've always wanted to go to couples therapy.'

'Either you do or you don't - there isn't any 'cooling-off' period!'

"When we met, Marc promised to be the wind under my wings but it turned out to be all hot air."

'I do - allowing for a 50 margin of error...'

'I don't know, Randy - Marriage is so INTRUSIVE.'

"And you're telling me this because?"

'I'm sorry, but 'I'll see how I feel on the night' isn't really acceptable.'

Marriage & Divorce.

'Well, yes, when you put it that way, I am a selfish male afraid of commitment, but 'Lone Wolf' sounds better...'

Dating Death

"I said to him eventually, I said marriage is something you're just going to have to do on your own."

'And do you Emily, take George as your lawful partner until death, or the cute guy in accounts, do you part!'

'I have an even better idea, Steve -- let's get married without living together!'

"Or you could just give me half your stuff now and save us all the trouble."

"Would it have killed you to shave first?"