Questioning Commitment Gifts

"I need to know if you're really serious about our relationship."

"What's this for poorer stuff?"

Man with lobotomy scar - "Changed my mind."

'No, but thanks for asking.'

A Reasonable Time for Concern

'I'm writing my New Year's resolutions.' - 'I resolve to finish everything that I start.'

"'...Love, honor, cherish til death do us part'? Wait..."

"And do you, Courtney, take this man....Courtney!"

"When we met, Marc promised to be the wind under my wings but it turned out to be all hot air."

Preachers with far too much input

'He heard the question, Reverend. He's sleeping on it.'

'What do you mean, you're having second thoughts...?'

'I'm sorry, but 'I'll see how I feel on the night' isn't really acceptable.'

"Monogamy? In this economy?"

'It's not the age difference, Larry - it's the wage difference.'

'It can't last.'

"I said to him eventually, I said marriage is something you're just going to have to do on your own."

'I have an even better idea, Steve -- let's get married without living together!'

'I would go to the end of the world for you.' - 'Yes, but would you stay there?'

"These oaths aren't binding all weekend are they?"

Things one would rather have left unsaid - 'I will!'

'It's a big step getting married. I need time to think about it - What did you say your name was?'

Calendar; 'Point of no return.'

'Don't you think having a relationship might put a stain on our relationship?'

'He's never gonna marry me now, Mum.'

'I said commit to me.'

'I now pronounce you man and wife, for what it's worth,'

'We're more or less engaged - he's just waiting for his fiancée to return the ring.'

"Do you have anything that declares my undying love, but with a six month get out clause if it doesn't work out!"

"I'd like an engagement ring that declares my uncompromising love...for under fifty bucks."

"What God has joined together let no man put asunder."

"I don't even have a relationship with a bank."

Speed Dating: Hurry up, you old git!

"Interesting. Have your lawyer call my lawyer."

'It's full of all sorts of complex exclusions and 'get out' clauses.'