Marriage And Divorce Commentator Pillows

'Eemember her big white wedding? Now she's planning a little black divorce.'

'I'd like to dedicate this next tune to those who have discovered love, gotten married, and wished desperately for death.'

"Bob & Sue 2011" "Sued Bob 2011"

'No, but thanks for asking.'

"This not the way I envisioned falling in love."

'Someday, Son, all this will be your ex-wife's.'

"It's a legal document authorizing you to carry out a Do Not Resuscitate order on my behalf, although heaven knows, you have a hard enough time cancelling a magazine subscription."

'Your therapy helped me leave Frank. Franks wants to thank you personally.'

'It isn't supposed to taste good. It's furniture polish.'

'No, he didn't have any last words,his wife was in there and she did all of the talking right up to the end.'

"Oh, you were on automatic pilot? And what about her? Was she on automatic pilot, too?"

'There's a NAGGING blog?'

Man in traffic jam watches couple row while eating popcorn.

We would have come to you sooner, but he wouldn't ask for directions.

'So is this your lazy days of summer, or are we still working on spring?'

'oh...You're home, just when my spirits were rising.'

"I'm a vegan. I don't know what made me order a cheeseburger. Maybe I've got the flesh eating disease."

"Our guest is Dr. Paul Veblin, renowned marriage counselor and resident of nearby Southport, where he lives with his 6th wife."

'So, did your marriage counseling work?', 'It sure did! -- She ran off with the marriage counselor!'

"Now who's being judgy?"

'Her being multi-lingual has it's drawbacks I'm afraid-she nags me in SIX languages!'

"I don't see what you see in him."

"I did warn you. Mum can take her time warming to a new boyfriend."

Marriage & Divorce.

'How many husbands have I had? Do you mean excluding my own?'

"I can try, but I've never had a marriage overturned on appeal."

'Here's a list of women I want you to stay away from at the party tonight.'

'My husband's first name? Heck, I don't know! I call him `wimp` since we met the first time'!

"And that's another thing, when did you last take me out ?"

"Yes I know...she just needs a passport!"

"Yes, it was good for me - not as good as it was the last time, but probably better than it's going to be the time after this."

'I'm no good at sports, so I'll just have to settle for a trophy wife.'

'We have separate bedrooms because I snore and because I can't stand the sight of her.'

Elderly spinster commenting on a marriage

'I'm sorry, but according to this there's nothing I can do. It appears your species mates for life.'