Marital Drama Fan Pillows

"Janet, we have to stop meeting like this. It has become a source of increasing friction in my marriage to Elizabeth."

"I can't believe he brought her."

"You don't know me well enough to not care how I look."

"It's wonderful to be away from the rat race. So, what happened on 'CSI: Miami' last night?"

'No, you can't just watch the end of Bargainhunt!'

"If you get married at the Grammy Awards, can your marriage be annulled at the Country Music Awards?"

"Yes ... no!"

"Ah-h, her comes my better half now."

'The coalition of the willing.'

"So Mr. Claus, there is a Virginia!"

Levitation Man Avoids Angry Husband.

'Safe!'

"Not only, she drives me crazy - she found me a car pool!"

"Will you shut up about world domination and just make the damn coffee."

'What a surprise,darling - a squatter!'

'Don't blame the King, Ma'am. This was all his divorce lawyer's idea.'

"Don't walk away from me while I'm not paying any attention to you."

"I haven't finished saying no yet."

'I can't go on like this Wilfred - you've changed so - You're no longer the man I married.'

"Me Tarzan, you Jane, who he?"

'Do it again.'

How you can tell when someone else buys your clothes.

For 364 days of the year Santa was a very successsful divorce lawyer.

"His last words were, 'before I die, I must confess I've been unfaithful'. Then I shot him."

"The worst part is she was sleeping with the guy she had paid to kill me."

'I call it, 'Albert Was Insufferable'.'

'Phil and I have kissed and made up.'

Wot's the row up the Court, Bill? Bob Smith was kissing my wife, and 'is old woman caught him.

Men's Intuition: 'Oh, I can tell from that look you're never going to let this go.'

"I don't know how many times I've told him about leaving empty toilet rolls in the bathroom."

"Can't you do ANYTHING right?"

'Finished-after I gave you the best twenty minutes of my life??'

"Is there someone else?"

"Osmond! Lower your eyebrows!"

Lucia di Lammermoor