Marital Drama Fan Gifts

"Janet, we have to stop meeting like this. It has become a source of increasing friction in my marriage to Elizabeth."

"I can't believe he brought her."

"You don't know me well enough to not care how I look."

"It's wonderful to be away from the rat race. So, what happened on 'CSI: Miami' last night?"

'No, you can't just watch the end of Bargainhunt!'

"If you get married at the Grammy Awards, can your marriage be annulled at the Country Music Awards?"

"Yes ... no!"

'The coalition of the willing.'

"Ah-h, her comes my better half now."

'Safe!'

Levitation Man Avoids Angry Husband.

"So Mr. Claus, there is a Virginia!"

"Not only, she drives me crazy - she found me a car pool!"

'Don't blame the King, Ma'am. This was all his divorce lawyer's idea.'

"Will you shut up about world domination and just make the damn coffee."

'What a surprise,darling - a squatter!'

"Don't walk away from me while I'm not paying any attention to you."

"Me Tarzan, you Jane, who he?"

'Do it again.'

"I haven't finished saying no yet."

'I can't go on like this Wilfred - you've changed so - You're no longer the man I married.'

How you can tell when someone else buys your clothes.

For 364 days of the year Santa was a very successsful divorce lawyer.

'Phil and I have kissed and made up.'

Wot's the row up the Court, Bill? Bob Smith was kissing my wife, and 'is old woman caught him.

"The worst part is she was sleeping with the guy she had paid to kill me."

"His last words were, 'before I die, I must confess I've been unfaithful'. Then I shot him."

'I call it, 'Albert Was Insufferable'.'

Men's Intuition: 'Oh, I can tell from that look you're never going to let this go.'

"I treat you like a dog, Henry, because you are a dog."

"I don't know how many times I've told him about leaving empty toilet rolls in the bathroom."

"Is there someone else?"

"Isn't this romantic—just the two of us by a fire as it consumes every letter from that tramp you almost married?"

"Osmond! Lower your eyebrows!"

"Can't you do ANYTHING right?"