Marital Drama Aficionado Gifts

'Don't blame the King, Ma'am. This was all his divorce lawyer's idea.'

"I can't believe he brought her."

"Want me to talk to the squirrel's mother, or would you prefer to handle it on your own?"

'No, you can't just watch the end of Bargainhunt!'

"It wasn't a farming accident. She just bit my head off again."

"My wife's lawyer doesn't understand me."

"Let me call you back, Lori. I'm binge-watching John clean the gutters."

Man in traffic jam watches couple row while eating popcorn.

Mistress Talking to Maid

Woman and cats watching Nine Lives to Live.

How TV Causes Violence

"So Mr. Claus, there is a Virginia!"

'What a surprise,darling - a squatter!'

'What I hate most is coming home and having all those damn Harleys parked in my driveway!'

"Looks like the Huffman divorce is in previews."

"I think it's important to remember that he isn't gone forever. He's still alive. He just played a character on TV who died."

"Do you have any get well cards for characters on soap operas?"

"...your ex-wife also mentions a gold filling."

"Don't walk away from me while I'm not paying any attention to you."

"He complains like a kid over a minor cold. He's such a groan man!"

'I'm sorry you were found guilty.'

"I haven't finished saying no yet."

'Don't even think about it...I saw him first.'

Dad was widely regarded as being unsuitable for younger viewers.

"The worst part is she was sleeping with the guy she had paid to kill me."

"That's not a...'Sorry honey I burned the dinner' look. That's a...'I meant to burn the dinner and you're gonna eat it because you forgot our anniversary' look."

Today on the Ask Sadie Show, we'll be addressing one single topic: Kevin Spacey. Specifically, we'll talk about that delightful television drama he stars in alongside one of my favorite actresses. Also, my tv has been at the repairman's shop for a couple weeks, so maybe you nice callers can fill me in on any big news stories I may have missed. Anyhow, I once met that nice young Mr. Spacey. He gave me a signed DVD of "American Beauty." I don't have a DVD machine, but I framed it because the cover

"Janet, we have to stop meeting like this. It has become a source of increasing friction in my marriage to Elizabeth."

The Rude Butler.

'Trouble is he doesn't know the difference between lube and putty. . . Our windows fell out!'

When Tia Carmen says... "Oh my god, no!" she really means... "They killed off my favorite telenovela character!"

"Alimony is like paying off a car after you've crashed it."

"Stop staring!"

'What are you saying?'

"Can't you do ANYTHING right?"