Marital Drama Aficionado Gifts

'Don't blame the King, Ma'am. This was all his divorce lawyer's idea.'

"I can't believe he brought her."

"Want me to talk to the squirrel's mother, or would you prefer to handle it on your own?"

'No, you can't just watch the end of Bargainhunt!'

"Let me call you back, Lori. I'm binge-watching John clean the gutters."

"My wife's lawyer doesn't understand me."

Man in traffic jam watches couple row while eating popcorn.

Woman and cats watching Nine Lives to Live.

"So Mr. Claus, there is a Virginia!"

Mistress Talking to Maid

'What a surprise,darling - a squatter!'

"Looks like the Huffman divorce is in previews."

"I think it's important to remember that he isn't gone forever. He's still alive. He just played a character on TV who died."

"Do you have any get well cards for characters on soap operas?"

"...your ex-wife also mentions a gold filling."

"Don't walk away from me while I'm not paying any attention to you."

"I haven't finished saying no yet."

'Don't even think about it...I saw him first.'

'I'm sorry you were found guilty.'

"He complains like a kid over a minor cold. He's such a groan man!"

The Rude Butler.

"The worst part is she was sleeping with the guy she had paid to kill me."

"Janet, we have to stop meeting like this. It has become a source of increasing friction in my marriage to Elizabeth."

"Stop staring!"

Dad was widely regarded as being unsuitable for younger viewers.

"That's not a...'Sorry honey I burned the dinner' look. That's a...'I meant to burn the dinner and you're gonna eat it because you forgot our anniversary' look."

"Alimony is like paying off a car after you've crashed it."

'Trouble is he doesn't know the difference between lube and putty. . . Our windows fell out!'

When Tia Carmen says... "Oh my god, no!" she really means... "They killed off my favorite telenovela character!"

'What are you saying?'

"Can't you do ANYTHING right?"

"Goodbye George, but use the back door. The plumber has arrived."