Marriage Mystery Fan Gifts

'-and don't think I don't know about you and the milkman!'

'The iceman cometh too soon!'

"The yellow spotted green bird, eats its body weight in bugs, and mates once every three years."

'No, you can't just watch the end of Bargainhunt!'

"If you get married at the Grammy Awards, can your marriage be annulled at the Country Music Awards?"

"Yes ... no!"

"Congratulations, dude, and you may now play tonsil hockey with the bride."

Don & DixieKiss No. 274385

'I told you he had a temper.'

"Ah-h, her comes my better half now."

'As your solicitor I must ask you to consider divorce an option of last resort. We could mount a drone strike against your husband at a fraction of the cost.'

'The coalition of the willing.'

"Well, obviously the victim had a French enemy."

'My secret is putting the toil in first and adding the trouble just as it comes to a boil.'

"I got my wife a book on decluttering and the first thing to go was me."

'Forget about marriage conselling: Me, I sent Max to Obedience School instead...'

'What did I say to annoy you? I may want to say it again.'

'First Lady Lettuce goes missing...'

"I remember when you used to whisper sweet nothings in my ear."

'We can't get a divorce... we haven't paid for the wedding.'

'You wanted me to take you to my leader. Well, my wife is my leader.'

'To be perfectly honest, I cross the road to get away from my husband.'

'I don't mind him smoking in bed. . .But not herrings.'

'It's very nice to meet you, but I prefer to remain anonymous.'

"No, I don't mind if you peek,' said the mystery writer to the next victim.

"Not only, she drives me crazy - she found me a car pool!"

"The previous tenant has gone away for a very long time."

"I'll be back – I'm going to run from my emotions."

"It's his favorite time of year."

"I think he must have had a death wish"

'Oh sit down Harold, Alice doesn't want to hear our problems!'

Toxic Relationship

'I don't really want to report my wife missing-just her voice will do.'