Romantic Mystery Fan Gifts

'It's very nice to meet you, but I prefer to remain anonymous.'

"You don't know me well enough to not care how I look."

"Stick with me baby, and you'll eat slop every day."

'Al, that hopeless romantic, sends me love letters written in wine. I just wish he'd use red instead of white.'

Romance

'Is that a suspicious package in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?'

"So, do you come here often?"

'Well, I'll be...look at this...there's a song in his heart!'

Victor Hugo

"Looks like someone got lucky."

'My secret is putting the toil in first and adding the trouble just as it comes to a boil.'

"The previous tenant has gone away for a very long time."

Toxic Relationship

"Me Tarzan, you Jane, who he?"

'Very steamy and sexy novel, Miss Pendergast, but how come that this Latino heart throb only services women over 70?'

'He's nouveau. She's riche.'

'I need your honest opinion...does my butt look big enough in this?'

"We met on-line and I promised to sweep you off your feet and take you far away."

"It wasn't long into their first date before Toro began to notice the red flags."

'We know you'll be angry, but we love each other and we want to spend the rest of our lives together...'

"I'll kiss him after the flies are under control."

Aeneas

'It's a hi-tech romantic thriller...she e-mails him, he e-mails her, they meet, she gets nabbed for online solicitation of a minor.'

Lucia di Lammermoor

'Darling,there's a man here who claims that you're having an affair with his wife...I'm sending him in now.'

"Lets put it this way...in your case the point is moot!"

Criminal Teenager.

'It's a whistle only mothers can hear.'

'Yes, yes, we love you too!'

'I wish my husband was worth THAT much!'

Am I the first guy you've invited back to your appartment?

"No, this is crazy. We mustn't."

'-and don't think I don't know about you and the milkman!'

Female guest congratulating the bridegroom.