Mystery Novel Fan Gifts

Toxic Relationship

The first Da Vinci Code. Dude, where there's a sock on the doorknob, it means I've got a model in here!

"The previous tenant has gone away for a very long time."

"We met on-line and I promised to sweep you off your feet and take you far away."

"Your hunch was right, Officer Garcia. We'll need a good editor to clean up this manuscript and bring his unfinished novel to a satisfying conclusion."

He looks so natural lying there...

Updated Classis: Alice Through the You Tube.

Igor hesitated - "You give me that silly old brain, and i'll give you these magic beans!"

"Play 'Misty' for me."

'And in local news: Someone is hiding behind the drapes.'

'Bront?saurus.'

"Call me Ishmael."

Dog detectives

"Undiagnosed serial killer"

Nancy Drew Mysteries - The Later Years

"Sure. I know of a haystack on the edge of town where you'll be safe until the heat dies down."

A spy

Man sees book flying in the Mystery section.

'He's been shot!'

Moby Dick.

"So, you're telling me that you can't return, 'How to be a secret agent' because the final chapter instructed you to eat it after reading?"

"Another clear case of COVID19."

"Me Tarzan; you Jane - no role play!"

"Well, obviously the victim had a French enemy."

'My secret is putting the toil in first and adding the trouble just as it comes to a boil.'

'I've been speed-reading this book - only took 15 minutes. It's about Russia.'

'I don't know what happened. One minute she's spooning me. The next minute I'm knifing her.'

At Mary Higgins Clark's book club.

"Of course I got rid of him...in my own way."

Moby the Private Dick.

Recollections of a Retired Butler

'Oh dear, Ratty... it seems media reports of the rise of feral youth have not been exaggerated.'

'The paintings are neolithic, I suspect the Mustaches wee added by a later people.'

'Don Francesco, scusi... But while we were burying Luigi, some joggers ran into us... So we had to bury five corpses altogether...'

The big break in the case of the missing French Fries: 'But just to make sure, can you have each of them squawk.'