Mystery Fan Gifts

'And in local news: Someone is hiding behind the drapes.'

"You simply must meet my husband."

"You think he's your friend? He's in there right now ratting you out."

"Sure. I know of a haystack on the edge of town where you'll be safe until the heat dies down."

'So Mr. Smith. . . how exactly are you 'uniquely talented' in the field of shoplifting prevention?'

Nobody new the identity of the mad bandager

'You are leading a double life, that'll be extra.'

"He might have fallen but these tire marks suggest something completely different"

Cover Design for the Yellow Book, Vol 1

Mr. Hyde writing the unauthorized autobiography of Dr. Jekyll

"Yeah Chief, Hobbs is checking alibis, Vanier is looking into motive and the lab is just getting back to us now with the toxicology report."

"Longtime listeners, first-time callers."

"Another clear case of COVID19."

Exit

"Your name has been associated with the hacking of several hundreds of social media accounts."

'That invisible man is spying on us again - I see his contact lenses...'

'We've got ways of making you sing, Mr. Rigoletto!'

BUREAU OF MISSING PERSONS, 'Mrs. Feeney, have you ever considered writing your husband off and getting a cat instead?'

'Now, Mrs. Black Widow, just a few questions on your husband's health.'

The Last Planters Peanut Day.

'Tea's up Fred. Do you happen to know how much the widow's pension is?'

Invisible Fence.

"I have no idea how this happened, Ma'am! I'm calling the crystal ball service department to get us out of here."

"NOT AGAIN!"

'Don Francesco, scusi... But while we were burying Luigi, some joggers ran into us... So we had to bury five corpses altogether...'

"Vote John Doe. The Mystery Candidate!"

'Too bad I'm not a serial killer, I'd bet I'd be a good one.'

'One for the money... two for the show... three to get ready, and four to...'

Dog digs for a bone only to find the remains of a previous dog grasping a bone in its mouth.

Police are searching for a male between 16 and 25 years, with a silky sheer taupe complexion and a run over his left eye.

The big break in the case of the missing French Fries: 'But just to make sure, can you have each of them squawk.'

'The DNA proves you were unjustly convicted, and, in fact, you're the Grand Duke of Luxembourg.'

"Follow that cab!"

"You want something retrieved? You've come to the right place!"

"Throttled woth strands of al dente spaghetti, it looks like a Mafia job."