Identity Mystery Fan Gifts

"Sir, I understand that you truly believe someone had stolen your identity. However, I question your statement because I can't imagine anyone really wanting to be you. I mean, have you actually seen you?"

"Yup, pretty sure that was a flying squirrel."

He looks so natural lying there...

"Play 'Misty' for me."

'And in local news: Someone is hiding behind the drapes.'

Incognito Bonito - 'I don't know me, but I do know you!'

Dog detectives

"Undiagnosed serial killer"

Nancy Drew Mysteries - The Later Years

"Sure. I know of a haystack on the edge of town where you'll be safe until the heat dies down."

"Another clear case of COVID19."

"Well, obviously the victim had a French enemy."

"Actually, Sally, my name isn't Mrs. Santa Claus... It's Barb. I'm not defined by my husband."

Which One is Pulling Out?

'He's been shot!'

'My secret is putting the toil in first and adding the trouble just as it comes to a boil.'

'I don't know what happened. One minute she's spooning me. The next minute I'm knifing her.'

At Mary Higgins Clark's book club.

The first Da Vinci Code. Dude, where there's a sock on the doorknob, it means I've got a model in here!

Police are searching for a male between 16 and 25 years, with a silky sheer taupe complexion and a run over his left eye.

"Angelo tells us you haven't been laughing."

Secret Identity Theft.

'The paintings are neolithic, I suspect the Mustaches wee added by a later people.'

The big break in the case of the missing French Fries: 'But just to make sure, can you have each of them squawk.'

Recollections of a Retired Butler

'First Lady Lettuce goes missing...'

Happy-Go-Lucky-Father-Of-Two-Avid-Golfer-Longtime-Magnetic-Tape-Salesman-Kiwanis-Member or Thomas Pynchon?

The farmer says one of his cows are missing, mind if we take a look around

'Don Francesco, scusi... But while we were burying Luigi, some joggers ran into us... So we had to bury five corpses altogether...'

Art Museum: Our exhibit of forgotten masters continues with What's His Name...

Cover Design for the Yellow Book, Vol 1

'My Goodness! All these years George and I never guessed you were a superhero.'

"He might have fallen but these tire marks suggest something completely different"

Mr. Hyde writing the unauthorized autobiography of Dr. Jekyll

Nobody new the identity of the mad bandager