Identity Mystery Fan Gifts

"Sir, I understand that you truly believe someone had stolen your identity. However, I question your statement because I can't imagine anyone really wanting to be you. I mean, have you actually seen you?"

He looks so natural lying there...

"Yup, pretty sure that was a flying squirrel."

"Play 'Misty' for me."

'And in local news: Someone is hiding behind the drapes.'

Incognito Bonito - 'I don't know me, but I do know you!'

Dog detectives

"Undiagnosed serial killer"

Nancy Drew Mysteries - The Later Years

"Well, obviously the victim had a French enemy."

"Another clear case of COVID19."

"Actually, Sally, my name isn't Mrs. Santa Claus... It's Barb. I'm not defined by my husband."

'He's been shot!'

'My secret is putting the toil in first and adding the trouble just as it comes to a boil.'

'Don Francesco, scusi... But while we were burying Luigi, some joggers ran into us... So we had to bury five corpses altogether...'

'The paintings are neolithic, I suspect the Mustaches wee added by a later people.'

"Angelo tells us you haven't been laughing."

Art Museum: Our exhibit of forgotten masters continues with What's His Name...

The big break in the case of the missing French Fries: 'But just to make sure, can you have each of them squawk.'

The farmer says one of his cows are missing, mind if we take a look around

Recollections of a Retired Butler

Police are searching for a male between 16 and 25 years, with a silky sheer taupe complexion and a run over his left eye.

Happy-Go-Lucky-Father-Of-Two-Avid-Golfer-Longtime-Magnetic-Tape-Salesman-Kiwanis-Member or Thomas Pynchon?

'First Lady Lettuce goes missing...'

'My Goodness! All these years George and I never guessed you were a superhero.'

Cover Design for the Yellow Book, Vol 1

"He might have fallen but these tire marks suggest something completely different"

Nobody new the identity of the mad bandager

Mr. Hyde writing the unauthorized autobiography of Dr. Jekyll

"Which one more says 'Cool Guy?'"