Magic And Mystery Fan Gifts

'My secret is putting the toil in first and adding the trouble just as it comes to a boil.'

"Lets put it this way...in your case the point is moot!"

Harry Potter learns some 'new tricks' on his first day enrolled in a public school.

He looks so natural lying there...

'The cutbacks begin to affect wizards.'

"Play 'Misty' for me."

'And in local news: Someone is hiding behind the drapes.'

Medieval Office Supplies

"It's a bit of a surprise. He has eaten people before, but only when he felt threatened. Your husband must have provoked him."

"That conditioner you recommended didn't do a damn bit of good."

Dog detectives

'Keep it under you hat, but I want you to enrich some uranium.'

"Undiagnosed serial killer"

"Sure. I know of a haystack on the edge of town where you'll be safe until the heat dies down."

Fortunes. Tarot. Palms. You punched the fortune teller just because he was smiling? I always wanted to strike a happy medium.

"So, you're telling me that you can't return, 'How to be a secret agent' because the final chapter instructed you to eat it after reading?"

"Well, obviously the victim had a French enemy."

"Another clear case of COVID19."

'He's been shot!'

Eleven/Millie Bobby Brown (caricature)

The big break in the case of the missing French Fries: 'But just to make sure, can you have each of them squawk.'

'Don Francesco, scusi... But while we were burying Luigi, some joggers ran into us... So we had to bury five corpses altogether...'

Recollections of a Retired Butler

'The paintings are neolithic, I suspect the Mustaches wee added by a later people.'

Police are searching for a male between 16 and 25 years, with a silky sheer taupe complexion and a run over his left eye.

'I guess I don't need to tell you that you got the job.'

Eye of Newt Helper

The first Da Vinci Code. Dude, where there's a sock on the doorknob, it means I've got a model in here!

'You've a broken lamp and your underlay's dangerously worn.'

Cover Design for the Yellow Book, Vol 1

"He might have fallen but these tire marks suggest something completely different"

Dairy Potter.

Nobody new the identity of the mad bandager

Mr. Hyde writing the unauthorized autobiography of Dr. Jekyll

'Well, since you put it like that, I suppose we could reduce the price of the property slightly.'