Mafia Mystery Fan Gifts

"Angelo tells us you haven't been laughing."

He looks so natural lying there...

"Housekeeping?!"

"Play 'Misty' for me."

He loves the water.

Tree Mobsters. 'I didn't hear anything. Did you hear anything?' 'I didn't hear anything.'

"Then leave the horses head in the Futon." Middle-class mafia

'And in local news: Someone is hiding behind the drapes.'

Mafia Short-Term Memory Clinic. 'Fuhgettaboutit.'

The Birthday Mafia Sends a message.

Dog detectives

"Undiagnosed serial killer"

"I did, boss, I swear, I buried him myself."

Cosa Nostradamus: "Listen, you mook. I predict if you don't pay the vig to the Don by tonight you'll be at the bottom of the Hudson by morning."

Nancy Drew Mysteries - The Later Years

"Sure. I know of a haystack on the edge of town where you'll be safe until the heat dies down."

Gangsta wrap.

"Another clear case of COVID19."

'He's been shot!'

'Lewis and Cabrini.'

This is your last warning, Jimmy - You break your pinky promise, we break your pinky.

'Did you get the hit man Frankie?'

'I don't know what happened. One minute she's spooning me. The next minute I'm knifing her.'

At Mary Higgins Clark's book club.

The Mafia isn't what it used to be...

'Don Francesco, scusi... But while we were burying Luigi, some joggers ran into us... So we had to bury five corpses altogether...'

"Whack him. And if you can't whack him, redact him."

'Before you buy the gun can I ask if you thought about taking your cat to the vets first?'

'The paintings are neolithic, I suspect the Mustaches wee added by a later people.'

'Sorry Rocko, you know how it works. Step on a crack, break your mother's back.'

Recollections of a Retired Butler

Police are searching for a male between 16 and 25 years, with a silky sheer taupe complexion and a run over his left eye.

'When did mum stop just sending us to our room?'

The farmer says one of his cows are missing, mind if we take a look around

The big break in the case of the missing French Fries: 'But just to make sure, can you have each of them squawk.'