Mafia Fan Gifts

'Omerta' sign in a Mafia library.

"Housekeeping?!"

"Don't make me warn you again, monkey. Stay outa the curiosity racket."

"Fangul." Italian sausage.

He loves the water.

'Sure, we pay them for protection but there are unexpected bonuses: nobody can tenderise veel like Luigi or slice beef as fine as Vinny.'

Tree Mobsters. 'I didn't hear anything. Did you hear anything?' 'I didn't hear anything.'

"Then leave the horses head in the Futon." Middle-class mafia

I always forget - Are we supposed to tip?

Mafia Short-Term Memory Clinic. 'Fuhgettaboutit.'

"You think you're gonna whack me and this will be over?"

The Birthday Mafia Sends a message.

"I did, boss, I swear, I buried him myself."

Cosa Nostradamus: "Listen, you mook. I predict if you don't pay the vig to the Don by tonight you'll be at the bottom of the Hudson by morning."

Gangsta wrap.

"I like his style. He makes it look like an accident."

'Aghh! I've been visited by the Russian mafia.'

'Did you get the hit man Frankie?'

'Lewis and Cabrini.'

"Sorry, Boss, I thought you wanted me to make it look like an accident."

This is your last warning, Jimmy - You break your pinky promise, we break your pinky.

Why did the chicken cross the mafia

"Angelo tells us you haven't been laughing."

'Don Francesco, scusi... But while we were burying Luigi, some joggers ran into us... So we had to bury five corpses altogether...'

"Who, Big Sal? Sure, we were in cahoots years ago, but we fell out of cahoots."

'Sorry Rocko, you know how it works. Step on a crack, break your mother's back.'

"Your resume indicates a fair bit of experience in the field of problem solving."

"Whack him. And if you can't whack him, redact him."

'Before you buy the gun can I ask if you thought about taking your cat to the vets first?'

Signs reads 'Do Not Feed the Boids.'

The Mafia isn't what it used to be...

"Keep your best friend close but the squirrels closer."

'When did mum stop just sending us to our room?'

"Make it look like natural selection."

Egg gangsters, "All I'm saying is that most people think it wise to take out a little insurance".