Murder Mystery Fan Gifts

'I don't know what happened. One minute she's spooning me. The next minute I'm knifing her.'

"I think he must have had a death wish"

At Mary Higgins Clark's book club.

"No, I don't mind if you peek,' said the mystery writer to the next victim.

'Don't look at me. I thought you locked it.'

"The butler did it...the butley did it...I'm sick and tired of your stereotypical accusations!"

Violinist Murdered with his Bow

'First Lady Lettuce goes missing...'

'It's the way he would have wanted it. . . killed by Colonel Mustard with the lead piping in the library.'

Hold still, I'm inventing golf and murder

'There's no great trick to it.'

"IT appears the deceased had been playing gangster-rap."

He looks so natural lying there...

"Play 'Misty' for me."

'The good news is that it's not your fault.'

'And in local news: Someone is hiding behind the drapes.'

Dog detectives

"Undiagnosed serial killer"

Nancy Drew Mysteries - The Later Years

"It's a blood curdling novel about the brutal murder of a publisher who rejected a book about the brutal murder of a publisher..."

"Sure. I know of a haystack on the edge of town where you'll be safe until the heat dies down."

"We think we've found the murder weapon Sir"

"Well, obviously the victim had a French enemy."

"You're sure it's a birthmark?"

"Another clear case of COVID19."

'He's been shot!'

"This patient must be really rich! He brought back the most extravagant illnesses from exotic holiday spots."

'My secret is putting the toil in first and adding the trouble just as it comes to a boil.'

"We'd like to start out being very involved with you but eventually be drawn away to much more interesting cases down the hall."

"I told him he was allowed one phone call. He's making a pledge to Channel 13."

'Don Francesco, scusi... But while we were burying Luigi, some joggers ran into us... So we had to bury five corpses altogether...'

'The paintings are neolithic, I suspect the Mustaches wee added by a later people.'

The farmer says one of his cows are missing, mind if we take a look around

'The GOOD news is that the medication you took has completely cleared up your hardening of the arteries.'

The big break in the case of the missing French Fries: 'But just to make sure, can you have each of them squawk.'