Mystery Novel Aficionado Gifts

'Due to cutbacks, we've removed the last 20 pages from every mystery novel.'

Man sees book flying in the Mystery section.

'God, how I hate bent coppers.'

"Now, were those friends of your Gettys or Gottis?"

'I hate to be so skeptical, but I still think the seance business is a hoax!'

"Meet The Author"

Nathaniel Hawthorne

Thomas Mann.

'To most people, 1984 is just a novel; around here it's our instruction manual.'

The Dorrie Decimal System

King Henry and his Cheshire bride

Television Readers.

'Look! The new long awaited, highly anticipated but ultimately disappointing novel by that guy you like.'

Silence of the Chickens...

'Mysteries' section of bookshop reveals secret door.

"Your hunch was right, Officer Garcia. We'll need a good editor to clean up this manuscript and bring his unfinished novel to a satisfying conclusion."

The First Draft. . . Moby Duck.

Characters jumping out of a book.

The Shed Mystery: 'Ah! There you are! Ok, that's enough...time to go ho...uh...wait...what the...?'

"Quoth the raven, 'Nevermore.'"

'Is that where you keep the banned books?'

Iris Murdoch

'Don't worry, you're safe. I started my diet today.'

Sign in book shop window: 'Critics agree the book is much better than the movie.'

"That's her - that's the girl who broke into our house! But her hair was 'goldier'."

The Department of Mystery - No one really knows who we are or what we do, including us.

It was my story. A murder mystery. A who-done-it-and-got-away-with-it-until-he-wrote-about-it.

Charles Darwin Book Signing.

"'A body at rest'? -- Are you writing murder mysteries now, Isaac?"

"The previous tenant was a bit of a shut-in."

"If I Can Make One Critic Smile..."

"No—You're thinking dog years—Editor years are twice as many."

'Mark my word, Walters, this is no ordinary virus.'