Romantic Mystery Fan Pillows

'It's very nice to meet you, but I prefer to remain anonymous.'

"You don't know me well enough to not care how I look."

"Stick with me baby, and you'll eat slop every day."

'Al, that hopeless romantic, sends me love letters written in wine. I just wish he'd use red instead of white.'

Romance

'Is that a suspicious package in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?'

"So, do you come here often?"

Victor Hugo

'Well, I'll be...look at this...there's a song in his heart!'

"Looks like someone got lucky."

'My secret is putting the toil in first and adding the trouble just as it comes to a boil.'

The first Da Vinci Code. Dude, where there's a sock on the doorknob, it means I've got a model in here!

"The previous tenant has gone away for a very long time."

Toxic Relationship

'Very steamy and sexy novel, Miss Pendergast, but how come that this Latino heart throb only services women over 70?'

'I need your honest opinion...does my butt look big enough in this?'

"Me Tarzan, you Jane, who he?"

'He's nouveau. She's riche.'

"We met on-line and I promised to sweep you off your feet and take you far away."

"It wasn't long into their first date before Toro began to notice the red flags."

'We know you'll be angry, but we love each other and we want to spend the rest of our lives together...'

"I'll kiss him after the flies are under control."

Aeneas

Lucia di Lammermoor

'It's a hi-tech romantic thriller...she e-mails him, he e-mails her, they meet, she gets nabbed for online solicitation of a minor.'

Did you know that Solange Knowles married a guy who's 22 years older than her? So what? That's not unusual. When I was a young lass, much older gentlemen courted me all the time. Albert was 40 years older than I was. Winston was 45 years my senior. W.E.B. was half a century older than I was. You should've seen the time they all ran into each other at my house. Albert scrawled E=MC2 on Winston's forehead with the last of W.E.B.'s mustache wax.

'Darling,there's a man here who claims that you're having an affair with his wife...I'm sending him in now.'

"Lets put it this way...in your case the point is moot!"

Criminal Teenager.

'Yes, yes, we love you too!'

'I wish my husband was worth THAT much!'

"No, this is crazy. We mustn't."

Am I the first guy you've invited back to your appartment?

'It's a whistle only mothers can hear.'

Female guest congratulating the bridegroom.