Maintenance Men Gifts

'My hubby breaks everything he touches.'

'Dad, the kid who lives here has broken your hammer with his head.'

"I finally found a use for that old home repair book..."

"These colder temperatures always cause my tire pressure to drop—it's a good thing I stopped to check." Peter finally grows up.

'Dang it, I just washed this street. Boy, every time...'

Neighbor Leaf Wars

The witch of the west again showed no water usage for the month.

"I sensed you needed my help. I’m Saint &@!#%&!!, the patron saint of cursing."

"He loves his leaf blower."

Gondolier skimming up leaves in pool.

'You're using 14' nails on a 2' door? This is definitely a case where bigger is not better.'

Not much money, glory, or praise

"This controls the speed, this opens the door and if you press the red button a maintenance man appears and gives you a very large bill"

'Well, that's fixed that.'

George is pleased with himself. He replaced the toilet seat without calling a plumber.

Lazy plumber.

Clearing the castle's moat.

"I fixed your leaky tap and the oven door... but there's nothing I can do with that dodgy seal on the fridge!"

"All right, pal, I'm just saying, that's what I'd do if it was my Large Hadron Collider."

'If you could roll up your sleeves, go behind the screen and plaster the wall.'

Painter removes 'wet paint' sign from park bench and replaces it with a 'dry paint' sign.

"Okay, I fixed the leaking roof, and I moved the couch over to the far wall, but I'm sorry, I don't unblock toilets!"

Time Clock

'Day two at the...brain transplant institute.'

"Why do I feel like your mother is going to blame this on my cleaning?"

"If you need anything in the building, just call the super. This is the only known photo of him."

A plumber preparing to go under a house's dark crawl space sees many eyes looking back from the darkness.

'No it's still not fixed'

Met Office: Wet today and dry tomorrow.

"Hello. I'm here to install the new pastor."

'I think I found the problem.'

'I can't work with computers, on account of my animal magnetism.'

"Go back! The place is full of mold!"

'My office is always open to you Charles, at least until maintenance repairs the door lock.'

"I hate all the paperwork there is with this job."