Maintenance Staff Gifts

'No more mergers until I get this one cleaned up.'

'Caution: doors don't open.'

'I dunno mate - it's an old model. Probably not worth repairing.'

Multiple exits.

"We'll at least AI can't take our job."

"Make a note, Henderson: 'May 4, 9:02 a.m. Unauthorized plant life again growing at random on lawn outside main entrance corporate headquarters. Spoiling symmetry and tranquility. Breeding confusion. Have said plants removed and incinerated soonest. Eyes only.' Original to Maintenance copies to Accounting and Security. And this time, Henderson, let's not have any leaks to the damn secretarial pool."

Nobody takes care of the carpeting here so I have to. You're filling a vacuum!

"According to this report two thirds of social workers need self-defence training."

Cleaner in a museum getting scared by the exhibits.

Naked cleaner in a nude exhibition.

'Frankly, I got here only because I was able to fix the copy machine.'

'Home Appliance Maintenance.'

'Surely it's not necessary to service the photocopier every single day!'

'You'd best get a move on if you don't want the entire network grinding to a halt'

Painter removes 'wet paint' sign from park bench and replaces it with a 'dry paint' sign.

"We really should hire more maintenance staff. The kindergarten teacher just told me that most of her lose parts play has been with bolts, nails and chunks of plaster."

"I finally found a use for that old home repair book..."

'Dang it, I just washed this street. Boy, every time...'

Hand Sanitizer Man, beloved superhero of every workplace in the world.

"These colder temperatures always cause my tire pressure to drop—it's a good thing I stopped to check." Peter finally grows up.

Neighbor Leaf Wars

"He loves his leaf blower."

"I sensed you needed my help. I’m Saint &@!#%&!!, the patron saint of cursing."

The witch of the west again showed no water usage for the month.

'Due to cutbacks, he lost his company vehicle, so he has to improvise.'

Gondolier skimming up leaves in pool.

'Need I remind you who's boss here?'

'He's finally done it - kicked breakfast TV!'

'You're using 14' nails on a 2' door? This is definitely a case where bigger is not better.'

'Let's pretend I'm a business owner and you're the janitorial service...'

'I'm afraid I can't take you to my leader without a prior appointment.'

'Tesco's cheif executive meets with staff.'

Targets.

Home De-Po. Things you need for your project. Things you didn't know you needed until you were halfway through your project.

Not much money, glory, or praise