Runway Maintenance Crew Gifts

Heathrow pulls out all the stops to keep the airport open.

'The fun begins when we go through airport security.'

Airline Debts: Layoffs to help us stay afloat.

Angels await for their baggage around carousels.

"I always check 2 bags, but one's just a sacrifice to the luggage gods."

TSA Noah

The World's Easiest Airport

'We will be 3 minutes late taking off. . . the pilot has to piddle.'

"Think we'll still make happy hour?"

'You sent your wife to get a bottle of wine from the wine cellar? Your jet doesn't have a wine cellar.'

Employee of the Month Parking

The Scanner Of Love.

"At least this year she got rid of the seat belts."

"I'm afraid there'll be an excess baggage charge on your Filofax."

"Sorry, you're only allowed one carrion."

"Sorry for the wait. Have you guys been here long?"

Giant Monkey sprays the pesty planes with 'fly spray'

Disinformation booth.

'I dont know about you, but I've got the feeling we're in for long flight delays...'

Einstein discovers that time can stop completely.

"Rule #1: don't offer to carry anything!"

Limerick Airport

"Your driver will arrive in 4...9...17 minutes after three accidental loops around the airport."

"It's my helper trout!"

Getting out of baggage fees is tricky, another sweater or two and I'd be charged for an extra seat.

'Next plane to Los Angeles is at 3.'

Airport Bored Rooms

"That's mine. No, wait - I have one that looks just like that."

Gates A-B Taking Care of Business, C-D Funny Business, E-F Do Your Business.

Rubbish Carousel

"It's cheaper than coach, and he gets more legroom."

Two airplanes

'He's still following us, Don.'

'But, I have only one item of hand-luggage... You can't charge me extra...'

"On time arrival...check. Paid for drinks...check. Made pleasant conversation...check. Didn't stare at mole...check."