Aviation Crew Gifts

'Oh no! I forgot my driving glasses! What! You too? Now what are we going to do?'

Happy New Year

One witch acts as a ground crew for other witches who are taking off.

"Hi Stan, this is scheduling. Today we're sending you to places no one wants to go, on a day no one wants to work, with people no one wants to fly with."

"If they find out I'm a flight attendant pretend a heart attack so we can leave early."

"Who wants to go first?"

"Ladies and gentlemen, we'll begin our inflight service just as soon as someone comes through with a steamroller."

Flight Attendants on Lockdown

"Well, at least now it's easier to remember where we parked."

Prepping for Rerserve

Suitcases: Layover/Gym/Bar

Future COVID-19 Airline Meal Serivce

"So the plan is to fly everyone for free. But we'll charge $400.00 per bag."

"Would you like some wings?"

"Think we'll still make happy hour?"

Newlyweds. . . 10 Years Married. . . 25 Years Married. . . 50+ Years Married.

'You sent your wife to get a bottle of wine from the wine cellar? Your jet doesn't have a wine cellar.'

Employee of the Month Parking

"Sorry for the wait. Have you guys been here long?"

Giant Monkey sprays the pesty planes with 'fly spray'

"Rule #1: don't offer to carry anything!"

Two airplanes

Airport

Getting out of baggage fees is tricky, another sweater or two and I'd be charged for an extra seat.

Gates A-B Taking Care of Business, C-D Funny Business, E-F Do Your Business.

"On time arrival...check. Paid for drinks...check. Made pleasant conversation...check. Didn't stare at mole...check."

'He's still following us, Don.'

"Kindly place your seat in the upright position, extinguish all smoking material, fasten your seat belt, tie your tie, and adopt a serious and dignified demeanor."

"You finished with your peanuts?"

"We are now in 'The Galley,' where flight attendants scavenge for food, hoard magazines, hide from passengers and over share details of their personal lives."

"How come I always get the crying baby right behind me?"

'Will that be coach?'

"So far, my luggage has had a more exciting vacation than I have!"

"As a courtesy for the inconvenience, please accept a voucher for three additional hours of your life, redeemable upon your death."

Orville Wright, not sure he wants to eat airline food, brings a sandwich to his historic first flight.