Aviation Worker Gifts

'The crisis in air traffic control must be worse than I thought'

Crowded Air Travel

Anatomy of a Non-Rev

"The air feels cleaner, for some reason."

Going to Work. . .Coming Home

Meanwhile, in Scheduling...

"They loved me, couldn't get enough of me...Europe, Asia, U.S.! Then all of a sudden --WHAM! I'm out on the street...grounded."

"No one wants a drink, no one wants a snack...I don't know who I am anymore."

"They loved me, couldn't get enough of me...Europe, Asia, U.S.! Then all of a sudden--WHAM! I'm out on the street...grounded."

A Flight Crews Guide to Social Distancing

"Forget about me Rob, go! Save yourself!"

"Be careful - we've seen an alarming increase in the number of plane strikes."

"I think I'll take the stairs."

'FAA Funding, The New GOP Hostage Crisis!'

'You kids today! In my day we worked barefoot and always at an incline, back when planes were taxied by cattle herds and you were lucky to land with both wings!'

Employee of the Month Parking

'Fasten yourself to your seats please.'

That's what happens when you tweet while flying.

"So the plan is to fly everyone for free. But we'll charge $400.00 per bag."

"This bag is carry-on, and this one is kick-drop-throw-and-pile-on."

"You shouldn't have stopped to go to the bathroom, sir - you were late claiming your luggage, so we raffled it off."

Largest passenger aircraft ever built. "Why does it have to be so big?" "We had to make extra room for all the subsidy money."

"I've heard this airline's got some unusual inflight entertainment."

"I always send a layover selfie back home, to let everyone know I'm safe."

"Now boarding group 50 and up."

"Rule #1: don't offer to carry anything!"

"Don't worry. If we're too late, we can always catch the secondary screening."

'Ideally, I'd like a ticket to where ever my luggage is going.'

"On time arrival...check. Paid for drinks...check. Made pleasant conversation...check. Didn't stare at mole...check."

Under Capitalism, Expensive Equipment is Always, Unlike People, Innocent Until Proven Guilty

"We are now in 'The Galley,' where flight attendants scavenge for food, hoard magazines, hide from passengers and over share details of their personal lives."

"I'm number 846 on my salon's wait list. You?"

"Since when isn’t a taxidermied animal a comfort pet?" "Since forever!" "Dang it!"

"RAF Recruitment Waiting Room."

'Dear sir, thank you for your idea of a helicopter ejection-seat, but...'