Aviation Industry Worker Gifts

Things haven't been the same around the county since TWA merged with Ed's Crop Dusting Service.

Covid and World Tourism

"So the plan is to fly everyone for free. But we'll charge $400.00 per bag."

"Think we'll still make happy hour?"

The World Wide Web.

The World's Easiest Airport

"This bag is carry-on, and this one is kick-drop-throw-and-pile-on."

'You sent your wife to get a bottle of wine from the wine cellar? Your jet doesn't have a wine cellar.'

Employee of the Month Parking

"Sorry for the wait. Have you guys been here long?"

Largest passenger aircraft ever built. "Why does it have to be so big?" "We had to make extra room for all the subsidy money."

"You shouldn't have stopped to go to the bathroom, sir - you were late claiming your luggage, so we raffled it off."

Giant Monkey sprays the pesty planes with 'fly spray'

"I've heard this airline's got some unusual inflight entertainment."

"I always send a layover selfie back home, to let everyone know I'm safe."

"Now boarding group 50 and up."

"Rule #1: don't offer to carry anything!"

Two airplanes

Gates A-B Taking Care of Business, C-D Funny Business, E-F Do Your Business.

"Don't worry. If we're too late, we can always catch the secondary screening."

'Ideally, I'd like a ticket to where ever my luggage is going.'

'He's still following us, Don.'

"On time arrival...check. Paid for drinks...check. Made pleasant conversation...check. Didn't stare at mole...check."

'Will that be coach?'

"You finished with your peanuts?"

"So far, my luggage has had a more exciting vacation than I have!"

"Since when isn’t a taxidermied animal a comfort pet?" "Since forever!" "Dang it!"

"Could you pass me up? I'm in row one."

"We are now in 'The Galley,' where flight attendants scavenge for food, hoard magazines, hide from passengers and over share details of their personal lives."

"I'm number 846 on my salon's wait list. You?"

"Kindly place your seat in the upright position, extinguish all smoking material, fasten your seat belt, tie your tie, and adopt a serious and dignified demeanor."

"RAF Recruitment Waiting Room."

'Dear sir, thank you for your idea of a helicopter ejection-seat, but...'

"As a courtesy for the inconvenience, please accept a voucher for three additional hours of your life, redeemable upon your death."

Orville Wright, not sure he wants to eat airline food, brings a sandwich to his historic first flight.