Airline Workers Gifts

'Hold it right there, Buster!'

Airline workers being displaced for an executive washroom.

"So the plan is to fly everyone for free. But we'll charge $400.00 per bag."

'The fun begins when we go through airport security.'

"This bag is carry-on, and this one is kick-drop-throw-and-pile-on."

"Think we'll still make happy hour?"

'You sent your wife to get a bottle of wine from the wine cellar? Your jet doesn't have a wine cellar.'

Employee of the Month Parking

"Sorry for the wait. Have you guys been here long?"

Giant Monkey sprays the pesty planes with 'fly spray'

"You shouldn't have stopped to go to the bathroom, sir - you were late claiming your luggage, so we raffled it off."

"Now boarding group 50 and up."

"I've heard this airline's got some unusual inflight entertainment."

Two airplanes

"Don't worry. If we're too late, we can always catch the secondary screening."

Getting out of baggage fees is tricky, another sweater or two and I'd be charged for an extra seat.

Gates A-B Taking Care of Business, C-D Funny Business, E-F Do Your Business.

'I thought we'd never break through those clouds!'

'He's still following us, Don.'

"On time arrival...check. Paid for drinks...check. Made pleasant conversation...check. Didn't stare at mole...check."

'Ideally, I'd like a ticket to where ever my luggage is going.'

"How come I always get the crying baby right behind me?"

"You finished with your peanuts?"

"Since when isn’t a taxidermied animal a comfort pet?" "Since forever!" "Dang it!"

'Will that be coach?'

"So far, my luggage has had a more exciting vacation than I have!"

"Kindly place your seat in the upright position, extinguish all smoking material, fasten your seat belt, tie your tie, and adopt a serious and dignified demeanor."

"As a courtesy for the inconvenience, please accept a voucher for three additional hours of your life, redeemable upon your death."

Orville Wright, not sure he wants to eat airline food, brings a sandwich to his historic first flight.

'I'm happy to report our use of air sickness bags has declined sharply since we quit serving meals.'

Safest Airline in The World

Christmas Flights

"Look, there's even more buttons and stuff up there."

"I don't know what's so funny. All I asked was whether this was their only flight today."

Deicing on the cake.