Airlines Staff Gifts

To prevent geese from flying toward its planes, Jupiter Airlines made some key design changes,

Airline Debts: Layoffs to help us stay afloat.

'The fun begins when we go through airport security.'

Angels await for their baggage around carousels.

"I always check 2 bags, but one's just a sacrifice to the luggage gods."

The World's Easiest Airport

"This bag is carry-on, and this one is kick-drop-throw-and-pile-on."

TSA Noah

'We will be 3 minutes late taking off. . . the pilot has to piddle.'

"Think we'll still make happy hour?"

'You sent your wife to get a bottle of wine from the wine cellar? Your jet doesn't have a wine cellar.'

"Sorry, you're only allowed one carrion."

The Scanner Of Love.

Employee of the Month Parking

"I'm afraid there'll be an excess baggage charge on your Filofax."

"At least this year she got rid of the seat belts."

"Sorry for the wait. Have you guys been here long?"

"You shouldn't have stopped to go to the bathroom, sir - you were late claiming your luggage, so we raffled it off."

Giant Monkey sprays the pesty planes with 'fly spray'

"I've heard this airline's got some unusual inflight entertainment."

"Now boarding group 50 and up."

Disinformation booth.

'I dont know about you, but I've got the feeling we're in for long flight delays...'

Einstein discovers that time can stop completely.

"Rule #1: don't offer to carry anything!"

Limerick Airport

'Next plane to Los Angeles is at 3.'

Airport Bored Rooms

"Your driver will arrive in 4...9...17 minutes after three accidental loops around the airport."

"Don't worry. If we're too late, we can always catch the secondary screening."

Rubbish Carousel

"That's mine. No, wait - I have one that looks just like that."

Two airplanes

"It's cheaper than coach, and he gets more legroom."

"It's my helper trout!"