Aviation Industry Worker T-Shirts

Things haven't been the same around the county since TWA merged with Ed's Crop Dusting Service.

Covid and World Tourism

"Sure, you can look out my window. That'll be 5 dollars!"

"So the plan is to fly everyone for free. But we'll charge $400.00 per bag."

"This bag is carry-on, and this one is kick-drop-throw-and-pile-on."

The World Wide Web.

The World's Easiest Airport

"Think we'll still make happy hour?"

'You sent your wife to get a bottle of wine from the wine cellar? Your jet doesn't have a wine cellar.'

Employee of the Month Parking

"Sorry for the wait. Have you guys been here long?"

"You shouldn't have stopped to go to the bathroom, sir - you were late claiming your luggage, so we raffled it off."

Largest passenger aircraft ever built. "Why does it have to be so big?" "We had to make extra room for all the subsidy money."

Giant Monkey sprays the pesty planes with 'fly spray'

"I've heard this airline's got some unusual inflight entertainment."

"I always send a layover selfie back home, to let everyone know I'm safe."

"Now boarding group 50 and up."

"Rule #1: don't offer to carry anything!"

Gates A-B Taking Care of Business, C-D Funny Business, E-F Do Your Business.

"Don't worry. If we're too late, we can always catch the secondary screening."

Two airplanes

'Ideally, I'd like a ticket to where ever my luggage is going.'

'He's still following us, Don.'

"On time arrival...check. Paid for drinks...check. Made pleasant conversation...check. Didn't stare at mole...check."

Under Capitalism, Expensive Equipment is Always, Unlike People, Innocent Until Proven Guilty

"I'm number 846 on my salon's wait list. You?"

'Will that be coach?'

"Could you pass me up? I'm in row one."

"We are now in 'The Galley,' where flight attendants scavenge for food, hoard magazines, hide from passengers and over share details of their personal lives."

"Since when isn’t a taxidermied animal a comfort pet?" "Since forever!" "Dang it!"

"Kindly place your seat in the upright position, extinguish all smoking material, fasten your seat belt, tie your tie, and adopt a serious and dignified demeanor."

"So far, my luggage has had a more exciting vacation than I have!"

"You finished with your peanuts?"

"RAF Recruitment Waiting Room."

'Dear sir, thank you for your idea of a helicopter ejection-seat, but...'