Airport Worker Gifts

'Rapunzel's migraines completely vanished since she started dating Ted from the airport.'

Santa Security Check

'She worked at the airport behind the check-in counter. Dumped me after our first date. Said I had too much baggage.'

'I'm sorry. Security wants to talk to you.' 'Godzilla never got used to being species profiled.'

'Something right by a washroom if you have it.'

Airline Megers.

"Attention passengers. Ticket holders in sections B through C will now be herded onto the plane with cattle prods."

Airport Shoe Scanner.

Chief Hoto Matu noticed that the airport greeting in grass skirts created a workplace climate conducive to sexual harrassment.

Heathrow pulls out all the stops to keep the airport open.

'Not only do we get to probe earthlings, we get paid for it.'

Saint Peter using a security screening.

"More than 200 flights canceled. What a disappointing day for air travelers!"

Where flight attendants receive their training.

"So the plan is to fly everyone for free. But we'll charge $400.00 per bag."

Airline Debts: Layoffs to help us stay afloat.

'The fun begins when we go through airport security.'

Angels await for their baggage around carousels.

'Where was the TSA?'

Airport Security.

"I always check 2 bags, but one's just a sacrifice to the luggage gods."

The World's Easiest Airport

"This bag is carry-on, and this one is kick-drop-throw-and-pile-on."

TSA Noah

'We will be 3 minutes late taking off. . . the pilot has to piddle.'

Employee of the Month Parking

"At least this year she got rid of the seat belts."

The Scanner Of Love.

"Sorry, you're only allowed one carrion."

"I'm afraid there'll be an excess baggage charge on your Filofax."

"You shouldn't have stopped to go to the bathroom, sir - you were late claiming your luggage, so we raffled it off."

A Little Extra

"Now boarding group 50 and up."

"I've heard this airline's got some unusual inflight entertainment."

'I dont know about you, but I've got the feeling we're in for long flight delays...'