Airport Employee Gifts

The modern American airport

"They said whatever you left in Las Vegas, stays in Las Vegas."

"No contraband, but I found a small tumor right here."

'The fun begins when we go through airport security.'

Airline Debts: Layoffs to help us stay afloat.

'Where was the TSA?'

Airport Security.

Angels await for their baggage around carousels.

"I always check 2 bags, but one's just a sacrifice to the luggage gods."

"Think we'll still make happy hour?"

The World's Easiest Airport

"This bag is carry-on, and this one is kick-drop-throw-and-pile-on."

'We will be 3 minutes late taking off. . . the pilot has to piddle.'

TSA Noah

'You sent your wife to get a bottle of wine from the wine cellar? Your jet doesn't have a wine cellar.'

"Sorry, you're only allowed one carrion."

Employee of the Month Parking

"I'm afraid there'll be an excess baggage charge on your Filofax."

The Scanner Of Love.

"At least this year she got rid of the seat belts."

"You shouldn't have stopped to go to the bathroom, sir - you were late claiming your luggage, so we raffled it off."

Giant Monkey sprays the pesty planes with 'fly spray'

Disinformation booth.

'I dont know about you, but I've got the feeling we're in for long flight delays...'

A Little Extra

"Now boarding group 50 and up."

"I've heard this airline's got some unusual inflight entertainment."

Einstein discovers that time can stop completely.

Limerick Airport

"It's my helper trout!"

'Next plane to Los Angeles is at 3.'

Gates A-B Taking Care of Business, C-D Funny Business, E-F Do Your Business.

"It's cheaper than coach, and he gets more legroom."

"Your driver will arrive in 4...9...17 minutes after three accidental loops around the airport."

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