Aircraft Carrier Crew Gifts

Valet Parking.

Cutaway view of Ocean liner.

"Great cruise except the zip lining got flooded."

"Would you like some wings?"

Newlyweds. . . 10 Years Married. . . 25 Years Married. . . 50+ Years Married.

'Slip Ahoy!'

Employee of the Month Parking

"Sorry for the wait. Have you guys been here long?"

Captain looks out of a porthole and notices that the ship is sinking.

"Rule #1: don't offer to carry anything!"

Airport

Getting out of baggage fees is tricky, another sweater or two and I'd be charged for an extra seat.

'Ships plumber reporting for duty.'

"On time arrival...check. Paid for drinks...check. Made pleasant conversation...check. Didn't stare at mole...check."

"How come I always get the crying baby right behind me?"

"We are now in 'The Galley,' where flight attendants scavenge for food, hoard magazines, hide from passengers and over share details of their personal lives."

"A storm rages from the East - tell the men to get below and snuggle up for movie night."

"Are there any extra crew on board? He still looks hungry."

Sub Editor

"Well, we've learned that passengers will mutiny if they are served meatloaf two days in a row... Even if you do call it the South Sea Surprise on the second day!"

Going to Work. . .Coming Home

No Cabin Crew Self Service.

"Captain, some passengers say that they are not interested in your romance with that flight attendant, and ask you to turn the speaker off."

Airline: Arrivals, Departures, Missing Luggage and Missing Planes.

Notice to travelers: 'Delayed' is the New 'on time'.

"Be careful - we've seen an alarming increase in the number of plane strikes."

Bev puts on an old favorite

"Who wants to go first?"

'Ok, I won't let on we're sinking until the water reaches earlobes - then someone's going to hear about it!'

"I don't care what the owner's name is. It's bad luck."

"Is there something on my face? I've never had anybody watch this demonstration before."

"That's why you're so familiar, we flew together yesterday!"

"Flight time is approximately 3 seconds and - I won't lie to you folks - it's a bit choppy up there."

"What a beautiful day to set sail!"

"I'm going to have a word with the pilot."