Aircraft Maintenance Crew Gifts

"This is what's left sir! Still proceed to fly sir?"

"Think we'll still make happy hour?"

'You sent your wife to get a bottle of wine from the wine cellar? Your jet doesn't have a wine cellar.'

Employee of the Month Parking

"Sorry for the wait. Have you guys been here long?"

Giant Monkey sprays the pesty planes with 'fly spray'

"Rule #1: don't offer to carry anything!"

Two airplanes

Getting out of baggage fees is tricky, another sweater or two and I'd be charged for an extra seat.

'And don't be afraid to ask for directions.'

Gates A-B Taking Care of Business, C-D Funny Business, E-F Do Your Business.

'He's still following us, Don.'

"On time arrival...check. Paid for drinks...check. Made pleasant conversation...check. Didn't stare at mole...check."

'Will that be coach?'

"So far, my luggage has had a more exciting vacation than I have!"

"How come I always get the crying baby right behind me?"

"Kindly place your seat in the upright position, extinguish all smoking material, fasten your seat belt, tie your tie, and adopt a serious and dignified demeanor."

Painter removes 'wet paint' sign from park bench and replaces it with a 'dry paint' sign.

"You finished with your peanuts?"

"As a courtesy for the inconvenience, please accept a voucher for three additional hours of your life, redeemable upon your death."

'I'm happy to report our use of air sickness bags has declined sharply since we quit serving meals.'

Orville Wright, not sure he wants to eat airline food, brings a sandwich to his historic first flight.

Safest Airline in The World

Deicing on the cake.

'I wouldn't be so concerned if they weren't already sitting in the exit row.'

Jet Liner Wipes 'I tell ya, cleanin' the fuselage used to be my least favorite job...'

The Island Of Lost Luggage.

"Bev sure takes the last leg literally."

"I don't know what's so funny. All I asked was whether this was their only flight today."

Emergency Slide Height Limit.

Going to Work. . .Coming Home

Mechanics, their forks ready, prepare to deice the chocolate off a plane.

Christmas Flights

'Such work commitment has to be rewarded: The ticket is free Sir...'

'Since you're wearing cargo pants, everything in your pockets is considered cargo and subject to a tariff.'