Ship Crew Gifts

'Ships plumber reporting for duty.'

'Slip Ahoy!'

"A storm rages from the East - tell the men to get below and snuggle up for movie night."

Warehousing, St Catherine's Docks

'His heels are ruining this deck !'

Captain looks out of a porthole and notices that the ship is sinking.

'It's bad news for the cabin boy.'

Man overboard!

'Putting up a deck chair is a real bugger at the best of times.'

"I don't care what the owner's name is. It's bad luck."

Cutaway view of Ocean liner.

"Great cruise except the zip lining got flooded."

"Would you like some wings?"

Newlyweds. . . 10 Years Married. . . 25 Years Married. . . 50+ Years Married.

"Sorry for the wait. Have you guys been here long?"

Ishmael's First Day on the Pequod was Full of Surprises: "A harpoon!? Don't you practice catch and release?"

Lifesaver!

'I said, you're supposed to be in the underworld.'

Airport

It became increasingly difficult for the captain to reward his crew and still maintain his ferocious reputation.

"On time arrival...check. Paid for drinks...check. Made pleasant conversation...check. Didn't stare at mole...check."

'The first rule of enjoying fine wine is to make sure you and the wine are in the same room.'

"How come I always get the crying baby right behind me?"

"We are now in 'The Galley,' where flight attendants scavenge for food, hoard magazines, hide from passengers and over share details of their personal lives."

Sub Editor

"Well, we've learned that passengers will mutiny if they are served meatloaf two days in a row... Even if you do call it the South Sea Surprise on the second day!"

"Are there any extra crew on board? He still looks hungry."

"I've passed your complaints along to the captain."

"....After ten o'clock is quiet time on board for the comfort of our passengers."

Going to Work. . .Coming Home

No Cabin Crew Self Service.

"Captain, some passengers say that they are not interested in your romance with that flight attendant, and ask you to turn the speaker off."

"That's why you're so familiar, we flew together yesterday!"

"I'm going to have a word with the pilot."

Bev puts on an old favorite