Cruise Ship Crew Gifts

'But Sir we are still in port...'

Cutaway view of Ocean liner.

"But Darling you always wanted to swim with dolphins"

Castaway hides from cruise ship

"Well, my pension was tied up in the cruise liner industry."

'Ok, I won't let on we're sinking until the water reaches earlobes - then someone's going to hear about it!'

'Putting up a deck chair is a real bugger at the best of times.'

"Great cruise except the zip lining got flooded."

"Well, we've learned that passengers will mutiny if they are served meatloaf two days in a row... Even if you do call it the South Sea Surprise on the second day!"

"Man, am I glad to be off that ship. I mean, between the constant moving up and down and the terrible sleeping quarters I was about to go nuts. And, don't even get me started on the food. That food. Am I right?"

"Would you like some wings?"

'Luxury cruise you said!'

Newlyweds. . . 10 Years Married. . . 25 Years Married. . . 50+ Years Married.

"Tell them we only have romaine!"

'Slip Ahoy!'

Captain looks out of a porthole and notices that the ship is sinking.

Airport

'Ships plumber reporting for duty.'

"We are now in 'The Galley,' where flight attendants scavenge for food, hoard magazines, hide from passengers and over share details of their personal lives."

'The first rule of enjoying fine wine is to make sure you and the wine are in the same room.'

"A storm rages from the East - tell the men to get below and snuggle up for movie night."

"Are there any extra crew on board? He still looks hungry."

"I've passed your complaints along to the captain."

Going to Work. . .Coming Home

'We took a look at our passport pictures and realized that we need a vacation.'

"Cheer up Skip - worse things happen at sea..."

"....After ten o'clock is quiet time on board for the comfort of our passengers."

No Cabin Crew Self Service.

'Oh my God! HONEY look! There's a HUGE SHIP running aground!'

"Captain, some passengers say that they are not interested in your romance with that flight attendant, and ask you to turn the speaker off."

"Is there something on my face? I've never had anybody watch this demonstration before."

"I don't care what the owner's name is. It's bad luck."

"Be careful - we've seen an alarming increase in the number of plane strikes."

"Who wants to go first?"

"That's why you're so familiar, we flew together yesterday!"