Cruise Ship Personnel Gifts

'Well are you interested in me explaining the Costa Concordia Disaster to you, or not, Margery?'

Cutaway view of Ocean liner.

"Great cruise except the zip lining got flooded."

"Would you like some wings?"

'Luxury cruise you said!'

Newlyweds. . . 10 Years Married. . . 25 Years Married. . . 50+ Years Married.

"Tell them we only have romaine!"

'Slip Ahoy!'

Captain looks out of a porthole and notices that the ship is sinking.

Airport

'Ships plumber reporting for duty.'

'The first rule of enjoying fine wine is to make sure you and the wine are in the same room.'

"Are there any extra crew on board? He still looks hungry."

"Well, we've learned that passengers will mutiny if they are served meatloaf two days in a row... Even if you do call it the South Sea Surprise on the second day!"

"A storm rages from the East - tell the men to get below and snuggle up for movie night."

"We are now in 'The Galley,' where flight attendants scavenge for food, hoard magazines, hide from passengers and over share details of their personal lives."

"I've passed your complaints along to the captain."

'We took a look at our passport pictures and realized that we need a vacation.'

"Cheer up Skip - worse things happen at sea..."

"....After ten o'clock is quiet time on board for the comfort of our passengers."

Going to Work. . .Coming Home

No Cabin Crew Self Service.

"Captain, some passengers say that they are not interested in your romance with that flight attendant, and ask you to turn the speaker off."

'Oh my God! HONEY look! There's a HUGE SHIP running aground!'

'Excuse me, Sir. Would you please let go of your streamer?'

'Ok, I won't let on we're sinking until the water reaches earlobes - then someone's going to hear about it!'

Castaway hides from cruise ship

"What a beautiful day to set sail!"

"I don't care what the owner's name is. It's bad luck."

"Looks like you've got some competition."

"I never watch the safety demo. If we crash, they'll just save me."

"That's why you're so familiar, we flew together yesterday!"

"Is there something on my face? I've never had anybody watch this demonstration before."

"Be careful - we've seen an alarming increase in the number of plane strikes."

"I'm going to have a word with the pilot."