Cruise Ship Personnel Gifts

'Well are you interested in me explaining the Costa Concordia Disaster to you, or not, Margery?'

Cutaway view of Ocean liner.

"Great cruise except the zip lining got flooded."

"Would you like some wings?"

'Luxury cruise you said!'

Newlyweds. . . 10 Years Married. . . 25 Years Married. . . 50+ Years Married.

"Tell them we only have romaine!"

'Slip Ahoy!'

Captain looks out of a porthole and notices that the ship is sinking.

Airport

'Ships plumber reporting for duty.'

"A storm rages from the East - tell the men to get below and snuggle up for movie night."

"Are there any extra crew on board? He still looks hungry."

"Well, we've learned that passengers will mutiny if they are served meatloaf two days in a row... Even if you do call it the South Sea Surprise on the second day!"

"We are now in 'The Galley,' where flight attendants scavenge for food, hoard magazines, hide from passengers and over share details of their personal lives."

'The first rule of enjoying fine wine is to make sure you and the wine are in the same room.'

"I've passed your complaints along to the captain."

"Cheer up Skip - worse things happen at sea..."

'We took a look at our passport pictures and realized that we need a vacation.'

Going to Work. . .Coming Home

"....After ten o'clock is quiet time on board for the comfort of our passengers."

No Cabin Crew Self Service.

'Oh my God! HONEY look! There's a HUGE SHIP running aground!'

"Captain, some passengers say that they are not interested in your romance with that flight attendant, and ask you to turn the speaker off."

'Excuse me, Sir. Would you please let go of your streamer?'

"I'm going to have a word with the pilot."

"Looks like you've got some competition."

"What a beautiful day to set sail!"

"I don't care what the owner's name is. It's bad luck."

Castaway hides from cruise ship

"I never watch the safety demo. If we crash, they'll just save me."

"Is there something on my face? I've never had anybody watch this demonstration before."

"That's why you're so familiar, we flew together yesterday!"

"Be careful - we've seen an alarming increase in the number of plane strikes."

'Ok, I won't let on we're sinking until the water reaches earlobes - then someone's going to hear about it!'