Cruise Ship Staff Gifts

"I've passed your complaints along to the captain."

'Sorry, but I guess we overbooked our cabins.'

'Sorry - no refunds...'

Ship's cook escaping in a saucepan.

"....After ten o'clock is quiet time on board for the comfort of our passengers."

'The first rule of enjoying fine wine is to make sure you and the wine are in the same room.'

Shipping

"Technically, yes, it's women and children first, but this is just a drill."

Cutaway view of Ocean liner.

"Great cruise except the zip lining got flooded."

"Would you like some wings?"

Newlyweds. . . 10 Years Married. . . 25 Years Married. . . 50+ Years Married.

'Luxury cruise you said!'

"Think we'll still make happy hour?"

"Tell them we only have romaine!"

'Slip Ahoy!'

'You sent your wife to get a bottle of wine from the wine cellar? Your jet doesn't have a wine cellar.'

Giant Monkey sprays the pesty planes with 'fly spray'

Toy Boats And A Toy Ocean Liner

Captain looks out of a porthole and notices that the ship is sinking.

Two airplanes

Gates A-B Taking Care of Business, C-D Funny Business, E-F Do Your Business.

Airport

"Well, we did book the Grill Suite I suppose."

'Ships plumber reporting for duty.'

'He's still following us, Don.'

"Kindly place your seat in the upright position, extinguish all smoking material, fasten your seat belt, tie your tie, and adopt a serious and dignified demeanor."

"You finished with your peanuts?"

"So far, my luggage has had a more exciting vacation than I have!"

"Well, we've learned that passengers will mutiny if they are served meatloaf two days in a row... Even if you do call it the South Sea Surprise on the second day!"

"We are now in 'The Galley,' where flight attendants scavenge for food, hoard magazines, hide from passengers and over share details of their personal lives."

"Are there any extra crew on board? He still looks hungry."

'Will that be coach?'

"A storm rages from the East - tell the men to get below and snuggle up for movie night."

"As a courtesy for the inconvenience, please accept a voucher for three additional hours of your life, redeemable upon your death."