Cruise Ship Staff Gifts

"I've passed your complaints along to the captain."

'Sorry, but I guess we overbooked our cabins.'

'Sorry - no refunds...'

Ship's cook escaping in a saucepan.

"....After ten o'clock is quiet time on board for the comfort of our passengers."

'The first rule of enjoying fine wine is to make sure you and the wine are in the same room.'

Shipping

Cutaway view of Ocean liner.

"Great cruise except the zip lining got flooded."

"Would you like some wings?"

Newlyweds. . . 10 Years Married. . . 25 Years Married. . . 50+ Years Married.

"Think we'll still make happy hour?"

'Luxury cruise you said!'

"Tell them we only have romaine!"

'Slip Ahoy!'

'You sent your wife to get a bottle of wine from the wine cellar? Your jet doesn't have a wine cellar.'

Giant Monkey sprays the pesty planes with 'fly spray'

Captain looks out of a porthole and notices that the ship is sinking.

Toy Boats And A Toy Ocean Liner

Two airplanes

"Well, we did book the Grill Suite I suppose."

Airport

Gates A-B Taking Care of Business, C-D Funny Business, E-F Do Your Business.

'Ships plumber reporting for duty.'

'He's still following us, Don.'

"Well, we've learned that passengers will mutiny if they are served meatloaf two days in a row... Even if you do call it the South Sea Surprise on the second day!"

"Kindly place your seat in the upright position, extinguish all smoking material, fasten your seat belt, tie your tie, and adopt a serious and dignified demeanor."

"A storm rages from the East - tell the men to get below and snuggle up for movie night."

"We are now in 'The Galley,' where flight attendants scavenge for food, hoard magazines, hide from passengers and over share details of their personal lives."

"Are there any extra crew on board? He still looks hungry."

"So far, my luggage has had a more exciting vacation than I have!"

'Will that be coach?'

"You finished with your peanuts?"

"As a courtesy for the inconvenience, please accept a voucher for three additional hours of your life, redeemable upon your death."

'I'm happy to report our use of air sickness bags has declined sharply since we quit serving meals.'