Joining A Crew Gifts

Ishmael's First Day on the Pequod was Full of Surprises: "A harpoon!? Don't you practice catch and release?"

'He really wanted to get into the zombie role, so he became a Meth-Head actor.'

Cutaway view of Ocean liner.

"Great cruise except the zip lining got flooded."

"Would you like some wings?"

Working in the Hazard Zone!

Cut!

"I always thought I'd be good at getting drunk and crying on camera for Bravo."

There's a crew here from 60 minutes and they're coming this way.

Newlyweds. . . 10 Years Married. . . 25 Years Married. . . 50+ Years Married.

'Slip Ahoy!'

Movie Awards. Winner. It's been a big night for Ernie! He won three times at the movie-set caterer awards! On one set he made a healthy, refreshing beverage that received rave reviews from the cast and crew. He won the "best pitcher" award for it. Did they say he won for best costumes? No, his dressings won. His sticky buns won also. For "best leading roll" performance, right? No, for best "cinnamontography"!

Captain looks out of a porthole and notices that the ship is sinking.

Next camera crew 5 mins

"Your motivation is that you're a dog and it's food."

Lifesaver!

Hollywood producer.

'I said, you're supposed to be in the underworld.'

Airport

'Ships plumber reporting for duty.'

It became increasingly difficult for the captain to reward his crew and still maintain his ferocious reputation.

So, Leo catches me, devours me...wears make up?"

"Well, we've learned that passengers will mutiny if they are served meatloaf two days in a row... Even if you do call it the South Sea Surprise on the second day!"

True Story Movie

"Are there any extra crew on board? He still looks hungry."

"A storm rages from the East - tell the men to get below and snuggle up for movie night."

"We are now in 'The Galley,' where flight attendants scavenge for food, hoard magazines, hide from passengers and over share details of their personal lives."

'I found another pothole.'

'Great! So that's the film... Now for the sound!'

'Damn ! I don't have a clue where we are.'

Going to Work. . .Coming Home

"The character I'm playing has Alzheimer's disease. So, I'm bound to forget my lines occasionally!"

"They say she's gone completely Sundance."

"O.K. 'The Giant Baby from Space,' Take 1."

Producer, Director, Egomaniac Chairs.