Film Crew Member Gifts

Producer, Director, Egomaniac Chairs.

'Roll'em!' (dice on movie set)

"Your motivation is that you're a dog and it's food."

"Oh, by the way. Don't go out next Tuesday. The people from, 'Neighbours from Hell' are coming to film you."

On the Set of the Mulberry Bush

Man breaks his finger off with a clapper board.

Reality TV

'He really wanted to get into the zombie role, so he became a Meth-Head actor.'

"For the best picture not having won anything thereby being eliminated from this category..."

Men looking at black screen, "I call it film noir"

Cut!

"I remember when the death of the hero meant the end of the sequels. Now it marks the beginning of the prequels."

"All our extras are ex-soccer players - they're the best at dramatically faking injuries."

Working in the Hazard Zone!

There's a crew here from 60 minutes and they're coming this way.

"I always thought I'd be good at getting drunk and crying on camera for Bravo."

Movie Awards. Winner. It's been a big night for Ernie! He won three times at the movie-set caterer awards! On one set he made a healthy, refreshing beverage that received rave reviews from the cast and crew. He won the "best pitcher" award for it. Did they say he won for best costumes? No, his dressings won. His sticky buns won also. For "best leading roll" performance, right? No, for best "cinnamontography"!

'Action!...Cut!...Right, everything else is CGI'

Local News in Heaven

'Dad, would you ming standing up, then accidentally tripping on the dog and falling flat on your face? I'll try to get it in one shot.'

"Which part are you reading for?"

Next camera crew 5 mins

Ishmael's First Day on the Pequod was Full of Surprises: "A harpoon!? Don't you practice catch and release?"

"And the award for the best use of AI in a movie goes to..."

Lifesaver!

'At last, the newly discovered films of Woody Alien.'

Man writing at laptop says: 'It's a UK road movie ??" to give it more scale, I'm making the characters three inches tall.'

Mu-ther!! Pu-lease! I already have cleaned my room. I vant to be left alone! So when are the drama club auditions? Everyday.

Hollywood producer.

Remember . . . If at first you do succeed, make sequels!'

'Nine national treasures in one film! Start writing your Oscar speech, darling.'

Must-See Lockdown TV.

'I said, you're supposed to be in the underworld.'

"Don't worry. If we're too late, we can always catch the secondary screening."

It became increasingly difficult for the captain to reward his crew and still maintain his ferocious reputation.