Cinema Worker Gifts

No outside food in the theater sir.

Keeping the projector cool

'I've been making popcorn for 63 years and I've never once gotten sick of the taste of it... no wait, I just did.'

"Don't worry. If we're too late, we can always catch the secondary screening."

"I've got a new job, mom! I'm in show business!"

There will now be an interval while the film comes back on.

'The movie started 40 minutes ago.'

'I've already seen this movie - eighty times! I'm a projectionist.'

Anteater goes on the rampage in cinema,

Popcorn: Large £6, Medium £4, Scooped Up Off the Floor £1.

CINEWORLD

Canada's longest running movie house.

'I assumed the warning about nudity referred to the movie.'

Uses of a Dead Cat in History: Rank Films

"...All I know is someone called 911 and said you were robbing people."

'Sir, are you regurgitating food from outside the theater?'

'DO YOU HAVE A SIZE BETWEEN SMALL AND JUMBO?'

Theater Usher Moms.

'That booking service drives a hard bargain. We get the film, they get our theatre, we get to watch the movie.'

A cleaner in a cinema

'He really wanted to get into the zombie role, so he became a Meth-Head actor.'

Working in the Hazard Zone!

'How many studio apartment construction projects did you say you'd worked on before?'

Cut!

"I always thought I'd be good at getting drunk and crying on camera for Bravo."

'It was great. I hated it.'

Old sea captains queue to see Monster Whale Revenge.

Movie Awards. Winner. It's been a big night for Ernie! He won three times at the movie-set caterer awards! On one set he made a healthy, refreshing beverage that received rave reviews from the cast and crew. He won the "best pitcher" award for it. Did they say he won for best costumes? No, his dressings won. His sticky buns won also. For "best leading roll" performance, right? No, for best "cinnamontography"!

Chef uses Harp to cut Sausages

Moulin Rouge Security

"I'm torn, Randy. I don't know what to think." "About what, little buddy?" "Star Trek. The last movie got rave reviews. Critics and audiences loved it. Therefore, I loved it too. But it didn't come anywhere close to earning $1 billion at the box office. And these days, any movie that doesn't earn $1 billion is a complete failure. Therefore, I must hate it. I'm in limbo until the hive mind comes to a consensus." "Except for honey, nothing good ever comes from hives."

"Forget the harps, we can spend Eternity in there."

Next camera crew 5 mins

"Your motivation is that you're a dog and it's food."

Stunt lemmings.