Cinema Employee Gifts

"One more remark like that, lady, and you'll never get to see this show."

"Please do not panic. You're only required to turn off your mobile device during the movie."

"For your enjoyment: Please turn off electronic devices, close your eyes, and cover your ears."

'She wants to know why we don't clean up the *@#!@* language in our movies.'

'Gee, I didn't know there was a casting couch just to sell POPCORN in the theater...'

'Where's the remote?'

"Seats in all parts!"

'He really wanted to get into the zombie role, so he became a Meth-Head actor.'

'Is that the sweet smell of success or some imitation air freshener?'

Working in the Hazard Zone!

"I always thought I'd be good at getting drunk and crying on camera for Bravo."

'It was great. I hated it.'

Old sea captains queue to see Monster Whale Revenge.

'What's the matter... you're not grim here?'

'A High-pain job? Yes, I believe we have that.'

Chef uses Harp to cut Sausages

'Normally, I would give credit where credit is due but we're in a credit crunch. Therefore, I will take all the credit for your hard work on this project.'

"Forget the harps, we can spend Eternity in there."

Next camera crew 5 mins

Moulin Rouge Security

"I'm torn, Randy. I don't know what to think." "About what, little buddy?" "Star Trek. The last movie got rave reviews. Critics and audiences loved it. Therefore, I loved it too. But it didn't come anywhere close to earning $1 billion at the box office. And these days, any movie that doesn't earn $1 billion is a complete failure. Therefore, I must hate it. I'm in limbo until the hive mind comes to a consensus." "Except for honey, nothing good ever comes from hives."

"You don't mind the psychometric test, do you?"

"Your motivation is that you're a dog and it's food."

"Don't worry. If we're too late, we can always catch the secondary screening."

Hollywood producer.

Stunt lemmings.

"I spent hundreds of dollars on a course for entrepreneurs then found out the fire in my belly was acid reflux."

"If you're wondering why you've been chosen 'Employee of the week,' it's because your work load is about to increase, while your pay remains the same."

So, Leo catches me, devours me...wears make up?"

'Are you the genius who came up with the 'Alternative Payment' program?'

"Sorry, coffee is delivered by a union shop and you banned all things union."

Eager to get back out but want to limit your exposure? Come to Barry's barbershop, restaurant, gym 'n cinema.

'The firm is downsizing, Oglethorpe -- tell everybody to scrunch up.'

'What is the meaning of poorly attended staff meetings.'

"It's a long-term strategy to make them lazy and complacent first."