Cinema Management Gifts

'Sure we're concerned about terrorism, but the only bombs we've seen around here are some of the movies we've booked.'

"For the best picture not having won anything thereby being eliminated from this category..."

Screenwriters pitch movie to studio boss: 'It's a reinterpretation of Bicycle Thieves, that classic of Italian neo-realism. We're calling it, Dude, Where's My Chopper?'

'Believing any filming experience may help launch acting careers, some even stage their appearances before closed circuit cameras.'

"This is the perfect way to watch movies if you love mosquitoes and having a cold, wet butt."

Herman Mankiewicz

"We just watched a hypermovie!"

King Kong uses fly spray against the pesky planes on top of the Empire State Building

"I've seem an awful lot of movies ever since they cut them all down to two minutes."

Horror movies

"I remember when the death of the hero meant the end of the sequels. Now it marks the beginning of the prequels."

"I like movies that resemble my life, so I don't feel like I'm wasting time watching a movie."

Working in the Hazard Zone!

"Snow White! It's the dancing, singing woodland creatures wondering if you want to go down the pub."

'There's nothing on.'

"Bloody hell!"

"Hugh fans!"

"That was totally....what's the word I'm looking for?"

What's an Imax cave?

"The Eggsorcist"

"I'm just a girl, standing in front of a buoy..."

Applause

'Play it again, Sam.'

'Cool! Brownstar Wars!'

"Why didn't you simply open the window?"

"I hurt a lot of people during my last twelve steps."

Waiter, what's this fly doing in my soup? A scene from an Esther Williams movie.

Sign in book shop window: 'Critics agree the book is much better than the movie.'

"Housekeeping?!"

"...You talking to me? Well, I'm the only one here... You talking to me?!" "Narcissus De Niro"

'Well, now we know why Dracula's been getting all the girls lately.'

"Gone with the wind with cats" "Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn." "Me neither, who cares—let's take a nap."

Standard endings for sci-fi movies...

Canadian film production

'It was great. I hated it.'