Cinema Management Gifts

'Sure we're concerned about terrorism, but the only bombs we've seen around here are some of the movies we've booked.'

"For the best picture not having won anything thereby being eliminated from this category..."

Screenwriters pitch movie to studio boss: 'It's a reinterpretation of Bicycle Thieves, that classic of Italian neo-realism. We're calling it, Dude, Where's My Chopper?'

"This is the perfect way to watch movies if you love mosquitoes and having a cold, wet butt."

'Believing any filming experience may help launch acting careers, some even stage their appearances before closed circuit cameras.'

Herman Mankiewicz

King Kong uses fly spray against the pesky planes on top of the Empire State Building

"I've seem an awful lot of movies ever since they cut them all down to two minutes."

Horror movies

"I like movies that resemble my life, so I don't feel like I'm wasting time watching a movie."

Working in the Hazard Zone!

"I remember when the death of the hero meant the end of the sequels. Now it marks the beginning of the prequels."

"Snow White! It's the dancing, singing woodland creatures wondering if you want to go down the pub."

"Bloody hell!"

'There's nothing on.'

Applause

"I'm just a girl, standing in front of a buoy..."

"That was totally....what's the word I'm looking for?"

'Well, now we know why Dracula's been getting all the girls lately.'

Sign in book shop window: 'Critics agree the book is much better than the movie.'

"Hugh fans!"

'Cool! Brownstar Wars!'

"Gone with the wind with cats" "Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn." "Me neither, who cares—let's take a nap."

'Play it again, Sam.'

"...You talking to me? Well, I'm the only one here... You talking to me?!" "Narcissus De Niro"

"Housekeeping?!"

"I hurt a lot of people during my last twelve steps."

"The Eggsorcist"

"Why didn't you simply open the window?"

Standard endings for sci-fi movies...

Canadian film production

Old sea captains queue to see Monster Whale Revenge.

'This is the worst film noir I've ever seen.'