Cinema Operator Gifts

Eager to get back out but want to limit your exposure? Come to Barry's barbershop, restaurant, gym 'n cinema.

'He really wanted to get into the zombie role, so he became a Meth-Head actor.'

"For the best picture not having won anything thereby being eliminated from this category..."

Screenwriters pitch movie to studio boss: 'It's a reinterpretation of Bicycle Thieves, that classic of Italian neo-realism. We're calling it, Dude, Where's My Chopper?'

"This is the perfect way to watch movies if you love mosquitoes and having a cold, wet butt."

'Believing any filming experience may help launch acting careers, some even stage their appearances before closed circuit cameras.'

"We just watched a hypermovie!"

Herman Mankiewicz

King Kong uses fly spray against the pesky planes on top of the Empire State Building

"Hey grandpa, tell us more about the time you were in that Steven Spielberg movie."

"I've seem an awful lot of movies ever since they cut them all down to two minutes."

Horror movies

"It was years ago, for a nature documentary, and they said it was going to be very artistic."

Working in the Hazard Zone!

If nobody had invented graphics

"I remember when the death of the hero meant the end of the sequels. Now it marks the beginning of the prequels."

"I like movies that resemble my life, so I don't feel like I'm wasting time watching a movie."

"All our extras are ex-soccer players - they're the best at dramatically faking injuries."

"Snow White! It's the dancing, singing woodland creatures wondering if you want to go down the pub."

'There's nothing on.'

"Bloody hell!"

'Play it again, Sam.'

"I'm just a girl, standing in front of a buoy..."

"I hurt a lot of people during my last twelve steps."

"...You talking to me? Well, I'm the only one here... You talking to me?!" "Narcissus De Niro"

'Cool! Brownstar Wars!'

"Hugh fans!"

Applause

"Why didn't you simply open the window?"

"The Eggsorcist"

"Gone with the wind with cats" "Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn." "Me neither, who cares—let's take a nap."

Waiter, what's this fly doing in my soup? A scene from an Esther Williams movie.

Sign in book shop window: 'Critics agree the book is much better than the movie.'

"Housekeeping?!"

'Well, now we know why Dracula's been getting all the girls lately.'