Film Crew Gifts

"When we play the footage backward, it'll look like you're repairing it."

Greasy film crew.

'Cut!' (movie studio director)

So, Leo catches me, devours me...wears make up?"

'It means, like, stop filming...'

'I asked for TWO more cameras-where are they?'

You try making a F*@#! movie during Covid19... Now that's a mission impossible!

True Story Movie

Hollywood producer.

Working in the Hazard Zone!

'You might have quite a wait - we have a badly battered film crew ahead of you.'

Writing Team.

'He really wanted to get into the zombie role, so he became a Meth-Head actor.'

'I'm sorry, I can't take part in your survey, I'm not your typical man in the street.'

'People sometimes do the weirdest things when there's a camera around...and sometimes they don't.'

'Great! So that's the film... Now for the sound!'

'Damn ! I don't have a clue where we are.'

"All right, everybody- time to knock off for lunch."

'How many times I gotta tell you? Don't pay any attention to which camera has the red light on!'

'Hollywood writers strike.'

'Damn...'Frozen planet' team. I'll shake this lot somehow.'

"The character I'm playing has Alzheimer's disease. So, I'm bound to forget my lines occasionally!"

Cut!

Movie Awards. Winner. It's been a big night for Ernie! He won three times at the movie-set caterer awards! On one set he made a healthy, refreshing beverage that received rave reviews from the cast and crew. He won the "best pitcher" award for it. Did they say he won for best costumes? No, his dressings won. His sticky buns won also. For "best leading roll" performance, right? No, for best "cinnamontography"!

"They say she's gone completely Sundance."

"Natalie tells me you're the one who makes all the fog happen in 'Phantom'."

"You're beating him senseless, but what you really want is his approval."

"O.K. 'The Giant Baby from Space,' Take 1."

"I always thought I'd be good at getting drunk and crying on camera for Bravo."

"For the best picture not having won anything thereby being eliminated from this category..."

"I kid you not, blood was oozing from the walls! Unfortunately, it was fake: I had stumbled on the set of a horror movie..."

"Do you see yourself becoming a movie in five years?"

Producer, Director and Novelizer.

"Hey grandpa, tell us more about the time you were in that Steven Spielberg movie."

Men looking at black screen, "I call it film noir"