Film Personnel Gifts

Quarantine Exemption: For All Overseas Film Personnel Undertaking Location Filming in Hong Kong

'He really wanted to get into the zombie role, so he became a Meth-Head actor.'

"For the best picture not having won anything thereby being eliminated from this category..."

Screenwriters pitch movie to studio boss: 'It's a reinterpretation of Bicycle Thieves, that classic of Italian neo-realism. We're calling it, Dude, Where's My Chopper?'

"Do you see yourself becoming a movie in five years?"

"I kid you not, blood was oozing from the walls! Unfortunately, it was fake: I had stumbled on the set of a horror movie..."

Producer, Director and Novelizer.

Department of Theatre, Film and Television: Lights...Camera...Unemployment!

Herman Mankiewicz

Men looking at black screen, "I call it film noir"

"Well, what did you expect? They were both missing vital organs."

"Hey grandpa, tell us more about the time you were in that Steven Spielberg movie."

"Remind me: Is it the New York Critics Award or the Sundance Audience Prize that always lets us down?"

"It was years ago, for a nature documentary, and they said it was going to be very artistic."

"I remember when the death of the hero meant the end of the sequels. Now it marks the beginning of the prequels."

"All our extras are ex-soccer players - they're the best at dramatically faking injuries."

Working in the Hazard Zone!

Cut!

"An actor, you say? Guess you caught the acting-like-a-waiter bug."

The ghosts of Christmas yet to come.

"Seth, here, is one of the best young creative compromisers in the business."

The star hunters

'Being a superhero doesn't mean that everything about me is super you know!'

Kritik's Korner

"Say hello to my little friend."

Film Festival. Events. Screenings. Ernie attends these festivals in costume. He's gone over to the dork side!

Candid Camera store.

'Dad's bedtime story was decent, but the special effects were non-existent.'

"I hurt a lot of people during my last twelve steps."

"Boy, this blooper reel from 'Manchester by the Sea' is a crack-up."

"I always thought I'd be good at getting drunk and crying on camera for Bravo."

Censors 'no' a good thing when they see it.

"Gone with the wind with cats" "Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn." "Me neither, who cares—let's take a nap."

"It's basically the 'Tragedy of King Lear' but with animated penguins."

Canadian film production