Runway Maintenance Crew T-Shirts

Heathrow pulls out all the stops to keep the airport open.

Airline Debts: Layoffs to help us stay afloat.

'The fun begins when we go through airport security.'

Angels await for their baggage around carousels.

"I always check 2 bags, but one's just a sacrifice to the luggage gods."

'We will be 3 minutes late taking off. . . the pilot has to piddle.'

"Think we'll still make happy hour?"

The World's Easiest Airport

TSA Noah

'You sent your wife to get a bottle of wine from the wine cellar? Your jet doesn't have a wine cellar.'

"I'm afraid there'll be an excess baggage charge on your Filofax."

Employee of the Month Parking

"Sorry, you're only allowed one carrion."

"At least this year she got rid of the seat belts."

"Sorry for the wait. Have you guys been here long?"

Giant Monkey sprays the pesty planes with 'fly spray'

Disinformation booth.

'I dont know about you, but I've got the feeling we're in for long flight delays...'

Einstein discovers that time can stop completely.

Limerick Airport

"Rule #1: don't offer to carry anything!"

Two airplanes

"It's cheaper than coach, and he gets more legroom."

Rubbish Carousel

"That's mine. No, wait - I have one that looks just like that."

"It's my helper trout!"

'Next plane to Los Angeles is at 3.'

Airport Bored Rooms

Getting out of baggage fees is tricky, another sweater or two and I'd be charged for an extra seat.

"Your driver will arrive in 4...9...17 minutes after three accidental loops around the airport."

Gates A-B Taking Care of Business, C-D Funny Business, E-F Do Your Business.

'He's still following us, Don.'

'But, I have only one item of hand-luggage... You can't charge me extra...'

"On time arrival...check. Paid for drinks...check. Made pleasant conversation...check. Didn't stare at mole...check."

"Kindly place your seat in the upright position, extinguish all smoking material, fasten your seat belt, tie your tie, and adopt a serious and dignified demeanor."