Maintenance Maestro Gifts

"Hello. I'm here to install the new pastor."

'It should be changed every 3000 miles? Better change it three times, then.'

'I guess I should have paid the foundation bill.'

Handyman

'I'm sorry but I'm afraid the corporation is going in a different direction.'

'Lion Tamer experience hey? Well, I have a project currently needing your management skills...'

"I thought you were making a coffee table?"

"You've just got to have the biggest and the best, have'nt you?!"

'I'm going to practice on you before I start managing other people.'

'You're using 14' nails on a 2' door? This is definitely a case where bigger is not better.'

'No, this metal stress can't be fixed with liberal doses of antidepressants.'

1 Only Smart Hammer Instructions

"This is bad work, Edwards! Bad! Bad! Bad! Bad!"

Traffic Management Strategic Group

George is pleased with himself. He replaced the toilet seat without calling a plumber.

"I fixed your leaky tap and the oven door... but there's nothing I can do with that dodgy seal on the fridge!"

Hats: Management/Good Job/Friendly but Aloof.

Project Manager Showdown

"well I'll be - you are the boss of me."

'What does the internet have against my people?'

Met Office: Wet today and dry tomorrow.

A plumber preparing to go under a house's dark crawl space sees many eyes looking back from the darkness.

'Day two at the...brain transplant institute.'

'My computer? - I got rid of it for insubordination!'

'He was always too busy to sit for his portrait.'

'I can't decide weather to have a feisty or a sassy management style.'

'And if it ain't baroque, don't fix it.'

"Get me someone in Apologies, someone in Walkbacks, and send up the whole Scapegoating team."

'I seem to have a spare tap son.'

"I'm glad my team places me on a pedestal."

Concerto in DOS for Microsoft Windows.

"Your first job is to learn to recognize your boss' voice on the phone."

Zombie plumber calling out for drains...

Lawrence of Suburbia

"Experience is the wonderful knowledge that enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again."