Management Maestro Gifts

'I think he needs to work a little more on giving feedback.'

Active listening, session 1 "I'm afraid turn out isn't as high as we'd hoped,three of them misheard the date,five got the time wrong and everyone in sales went to a hotel in Scarborough by mistake."

"They p-p-put m-me in ch-ch-charge."

"I've decided to give leading by example a try on Mondays and Wednesdays. Keep in mind on Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Fridays, I'll still be using fear and intimidation."

'I'm going to practice on you before I start managing other people.'

'Actually, I'm more of a control nut - not a control freak. A nut is a freak you kind of like.'

Hats: Management/Good Job/Friendly but Aloof.

Project Manager Showdown

'I'm a very busy man. Bring me something to do.'

Traffic Management Strategic Group

'Lion Tamer experience hey? Well, I have a project currently needing your management skills...'

"I'm glad my team places me on a pedestal."

'I thought this course was going to teach us new ways to torment our boss.'

"The company has a compulsory retirement age of 65 - unless of course you become chairman."

'I try to encourage creativity.'

'He was always too busy to sit for his portrait.'

"Your first job is to learn to recognize your boss' voice on the phone."

"I became a boss because I was afraid to become an employee and get a boss like me!"

"In business it's called "constant contact." In society it's called "stalking"".

"That last customer thinks I should fire you."

"Any questions?"

"You may have an MBA, but I can change a light bulb."

'As soon as I saw you, I knew you were the right man for the job.'

'That large area to the north has been left open for the employees to build my pyramid.'

"She has her mother's management style."

Under New Management.

'My computer? - I got rid of it for insubordination!'

"When you read up on it you realise how complicated management is."

'Mind that cursor, careful of that window.'

'I'm sorry but I'm afraid the corporation is going in a different direction.'

"Get me someone in Apologies, someone in Walkbacks, and send up the whole Scapegoating team."

"well I'll be - you are the boss of me."

"You deal with the nitty gritty, I'll handle the overview."

"You could be right, Foster, But I believe you're confusing 'uncaring' with 'unfeeling'."

"Well, J.B., we're not a successful Internet company because we're not an Internet company."