Management Master Gifts

"I just don't think you would be happy working here."

"I've decided to enter the London marathon next year...it gives me a chance to use my management skills, planning, target setting."

'We invest so much money in training staff...it's a mystery to me why businesses would risk losing them.'

Weekday Morning Hell Bingo

'I'm going to refer you to a specialist in that yucky feeling.'

'I'm sorry but I'm afraid the corporation is going in a different direction.'

'Don't worry. No one else knows what they are doing either.'

"This the first time you guys ever installed an above-ground pool?"

'Now then - I just wanted to see how you handle pressure, Mr. Boyle.'

'Lion Tamer experience hey? Well, I have a project currently needing your management skills...'

"My best managerial trait is that I dig for answers until I get them between my teeth. My worst trait is that sometimes I bury them."

'Kroft, Kroft, Kroft...to thine own demographic be true!'

"We structured the deal so it won't make any sense to you."

'I'm going to practice on you before I start managing other people.'

"He thought this would illustrate the company hierarchy more clearly than the organizational chart."

"I always try to give out at least one genuine compliment per day. I don't always succeed."

"Unless one is a humorist, Haskins. One should avoid attempts at humor."

Whack-a-mole CEO.

"I can't sit down. Don't you remember? I worked my butt off for you."

'I'm looking for an assistant who knows my job, can do my job, but has no interest in having my job.'

'...And for the low visibility positions we can bring people on board who can, you know...do things.'

'Ask yourself, 'What is it I'm not doing?', and then ask yourself, 'What is it I'm doing too much?'.'

'I like to greet the new team members myself.'

Man mourns the loss of his king after being checkmated.

"If you really want to get ahead you'll need to stop licking your own butt and start licking mine."

"Leadership ISN'T just about trying to be BETTER than everyone else!"

'Now, who owns this project?'

"The team needs LEADERSHIP, anyone have a view on that?"

'I must say, I do like your incentive program.'

"This is bad work, Edwards! Bad! Bad! Bad! Bad!"

'I can't get out! -- I lost the owner's manual!'

'You'll never succeed until the kissing up becomes instinctual.'

Traffic Management Strategic Group

'Well I like to think every cloud has a silver lining.'

'We'll have to end it there, I'm sorry - we're running out of time.'