Management Masters Gifts

"By God, you're not a man who's afraid to fail."

'We invest so much money in training staff...it's a mystery to me why businesses would risk losing them.'

"Another job well done by your conflict resolution specialist."

Weekday Morning Hell Bingo

'Don't worry. No one else knows what they are doing either.'

'I'm sorry but I'm afraid the corporation is going in a different direction.'

'I'm going to refer you to a specialist in that yucky feeling.'

"This the first time you guys ever installed an above-ground pool?"

'Now then - I just wanted to see how you handle pressure, Mr. Boyle.'

'Lion Tamer experience hey? Well, I have a project currently needing your management skills...'

'Kroft, Kroft, Kroft...to thine own demographic be true!'

"Some advice please...How do I squeeze 9 days work into 5 and still see my family?"

"My best managerial trait is that I dig for answers until I get them between my teeth. My worst trait is that sometimes I bury them."

'I'm going to practice on you before I start managing other people.'

"He thought this would illustrate the company hierarchy more clearly than the organizational chart."

Not a surprise, coming from the new boss - who looks about 6 years old.

"I always try to give out at least one genuine compliment per day. I don't always succeed."

"Unless one is a humorist, Haskins. One should avoid attempts at humor."

Whack-a-mole CEO.

"I can't sit down. Don't you remember? I worked my butt off for you."

'Ask yourself, 'What is it I'm not doing?', and then ask yourself, 'What is it I'm doing too much?'.'

'I'm looking for an assistant who knows my job, can do my job, but has no interest in having my job.'

'...And for the low visibility positions we can bring people on board who can, you know...do things.'

'I like to greet the new team members myself.'

"If you really want to get ahead you'll need to stop licking your own butt and start licking mine."

"Leadership ISN'T just about trying to be BETTER than everyone else!"

'Now, who owns this project?'

"The team needs LEADERSHIP, anyone have a view on that?"

"This is bad work, Edwards! Bad! Bad! Bad! Bad!"

'I must say, I do like your incentive program.'

'You'll never succeed until the kissing up becomes instinctual.'

'Well I like to think every cloud has a silver lining.'

Traffic Management Strategic Group

'It's really lonely at the top of a dot.com company.'

'We'll have to end it there, I'm sorry - we're running out of time.'