Marketing Master Gifts

'On a positive note, the massive recalls do increase brand identification.'

"We interrupt this commercial in order to bring you an even BETTER one!"

'How did you get so many kids to sign up for your geology class?'

Roger's career as a salesman wasn't off to a great start...

"You've got your corner office, so what more do you want?"

'If I had to use one word to describe our strategy.'

"Remember the golden rule: more buzzwords, less real words."

"Bert, I'm confused. What happens after we circle the wagons, tighten our belts and walk a mile in our customer's shoes? Is that when the chickens come home to roost?"

"I'm going to bombard you with graphs until you agree with me."

The Department of Really Stupid Ideas: 'Most people think they just appear out of thin air! But the truth is, there's a great deal of very hard work involved!'

'You forget, I'm a blackbelt in powerpoint.'

'And were there a point to your proposal, Henderson - What would it be?'

"And need I remind you, the 'art of the deal' is the lifeblood of this company."

Robot Parts $5

'I think you are taking this elevator pitch way too literally'.

"I'd say we were pretty much on target."

'I should not that the cherry and whipped cream were an afterthought created by our graphics dept.'

"No, I didn't steal your content. I just have your content's doppleganger."

The president's men

"How's everybody doing? I'm not boring you, am I?"

Apples for sale

Or as I prefer to call it, the 'feel-good' factor.

"And isn't it time we replaced the worn-out, meaningless cliches in our mission statement with some dazzlingly new meaningless cliches?"

ACME INDUSTRIES NEW PRODUCTS DIVISION, 'The best part is, it can repossess itself!'

"What's a debenture?"

"I'm razzled, but not dazzled."

"Great! We're still going up! Chop a hole in the ceiling!"

Team Leader

"Would you say that the sales projections in your 3 year plan are realistic?"

"Unfortunately, the consumer was not as demanding as we had hoped."

Guy has framed 'first Yuan'

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Go team!

Cut Price

"I drink just enough coffee to make me think I can do my job."