Market Competition Master Gifts

Robot Parts $5

The president's men

'Pretty strange term, market share, considering the whole object is not to.'

Woman at a desk with in out boxes marked Market Up Market Down.

"Do you swear to calm the jittery financial markets, all the jittery financial markets and nothing but the jittery financial markets, so help you God?"

...I wonder who started the rumour of your resignation?

'Let me guess - you lost a fight against a young challenger who has now replaced you as the company's alpha male!'

Cheer up, you'll get your day.

"...and, if your idea is so imaginative, innovative and original, why aren't our competitors doing it?"

"So our agreed strategy is to dominate the market and it creeps profits by 670%. Anybody any idea how to do it?"

SupermarketAwful Market.

A statue of a businessman in a park with an inscription that reads "Outperformed the market".

'I'm calling you out, account to account.'

'No doubt about it, John, zero does represent a critical support level for this stock.'

'Tropical fruit, imported cheese, coconuts...I'm not really into that 'eat locally' stuff.'

'Have you seen the ruddy margins the Chinese expect us to take up for this work?'

'A market ruled by only three companies is bad for the customers and it puts down development and innovation. I would be a strong opponent to such a market, if I didn't own all three companies.'

'He struggles with having to do his own marketing.'

Fight on the top

'Henderson, Sir - marketing.'

'I've been a broker for almost three days and I've never seen the market act like this.'

"Are we afraid of a little competition? Based on the figures, absolutely."

'Then, for some reason, sales dropped right off.'

"Our marketing budget has become a black hole."

Manager. Managing a political campaign and a baseball team are alike in many ways. A campaign is launched with a "first pitch," when a candidate gives a speech selling himself or herself. I change pitchers based on the game situation. In politics and baseball, sometimes it's best to come from the right side and sometimes it's best to come from the left side. We study our competitors' weaknesses and exploit those. In politics we call that "opposition research." And I don't worry about the

'Our efforts to be rude impersonal, overpriced and inconvenient has made us leaders in jet fuel efficiency.'

'How did you get so many kids to sign up for your geology class?'

The Copywriter's Dilemma

'I tell you, Angela, there's no sight sadder than a desperate adhesives salesman...'

'As a new investor, you'll be interested to know that the value of stocks are determined by the collective wisdom of all buyers and sellers.'

"...and I can assure you that our price increases will be more competitive than those of other providers."

'I could be wrong, but I think Frank brought in a ringer.'

"Markets rose slightly today. No one knows why."

"You've suffered a loss and you need time to grieve, also, tomorrow the market may turn around."

'This model even has a sports car on board.'